I also have cousins I've only seen pictures of. My aunt Millie stole a bunch of stuff from my mother and then vanished. Years later we learn she's living someplace in the south-west and now has a family of her own. I don't know how many years it was after grandpa's death that she heard about it. But that was more her call as far as I know.
It could be that Fran got tired. I'm surprised they stayed together as long as they did honestly. Fran is very conservative and Republican and Dad was in his activist phase when they were dating. I really expected them to break up years before they did.
I've put The Dance of Anger on hold at the libray and am second in the queue.
I am totally getting the "change back" bit from Dad. That's the problem. He's freaking out and, since I haven't been changing back, he's just getting more and more upset. Plus I've never learned to set boundaries. I'm not sure I have much choice about changing. I was looking at knives and thinking about stabbing them into my arms. I wasn't at the cutting myself point but I was definitely headed in that direction. Definitely makes me now want to go back there.
Nobody in my family knows that yet. Two friends in my women's group had "we don't want to know that" reactions, meaning they sort of averted their eyes and didn't say much. My therapist knows. That's been it so far. That's what I meant in an earlier comment when I said I'm not ready to share everything.
I'm never going to expect Dad to meet some sort of ideal but I would like for us to get along without him shouting at me. My friend Susan told me about issues she'd had with her mother. In her case the mother just couldn't accept Susan's side of things at all. I'm hoping things will go better with my Dad. We will seee.
no subject
It could be that Fran got tired. I'm surprised they stayed together as long as they did honestly. Fran is very conservative and Republican and Dad was in his activist phase when they were dating. I really expected them to break up years before they did.
I've put The Dance of Anger on hold at the libray and am second in the queue.
I am totally getting the "change back" bit from Dad. That's the problem. He's freaking out and, since I haven't been changing back, he's just getting more and more upset. Plus I've never learned to set boundaries. I'm not sure I have much choice about changing. I was looking at knives and thinking about stabbing them into my arms. I wasn't at the cutting myself point but I was definitely headed in that direction. Definitely makes me now want to go back there.
Nobody in my family knows that yet. Two friends in my women's group had "we don't want to know that" reactions, meaning they sort of averted their eyes and didn't say much. My therapist knows. That's been it so far. That's what I meant in an earlier comment when I said I'm not ready to share everything.
I'm never going to expect Dad to meet some sort of ideal but I would like for us to get along without him shouting at me. My friend Susan told me about issues she'd had with her mother. In her case the mother just couldn't accept Susan's side of things at all. I'm hoping things will go better with my Dad. We will seee.