Spike, Faith, denial, and aggression

[dragonyphoenix]

I read a comment that compared Spike and Faith and added that Spike wanted, for Buffy, to “make her feel” in SR. I'm finding an interesting difference between Spike and Faith. Her violence and aggression, especially when turned against innocents, comes from her trying not to feel, trying to avoid her own internal pain through denial and acting out. Spike is aggressive, at least in the beginning, because he's a vampire and that's what vamps do. He feels his pain and does not try to avoid it, but there is some denial going on. In Lover's Walk (that's the one where he kidnaps Willow and Xander, right?), he is in denial – he thinks he can get Dru back – and he is hurting others because of that denial but only because he thinks Willow can help him get Dru back. On the other hand, he is feeling that pain; he's not denying his pain.

I don't know what that says about the characters, if anything, just me musing as I have my breakfast.

Comments

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

You mean my comment? *lol* I hadn't quite considered that distinction, Hmmm. My mind is tired here so I'll do my best.

I guess I should add some WARNINGS - POTENTIALLY TRIGGERY COMMENTS AHEAD:

He does use those exact words in the scene: I know you felt it, I'll make you feel it, you'll feel it again....etc. He's distraught - which of course is no excuse for his actions, any more than they are for Buffy's in DT, or any questionable act by any character in the run of the show. He's a bit like a child at that point - a very dangerous child - whose brain has not yet developed to the point where he can make the connection between his actions and someone else's reaction.

I'm not sure if I disagree with you, but there's an element of denial with Spike as well; in fact I'd say that for all his touted powers of truthfulness and honesty he can be terribly self-deluded sometimes. he puts so much focus and energy on another person, on the women in his life (his mother Anne, Drusilla, Buffy), "put it all on me" that he lacks a self and looks to "the beloved" to "complete" him. He's actually bought into the values of our culture that "two become one" and all that rot (Jerry Maquire: "You complete me". ) Its the idea of fusing with another person. He tries to fuse with the beloved metaphorically or physically; to be "the beloved" sounds like it ought to be a nice idea, someone else focusing laser-sharp and constant attention upon you but in fact it's a huge burden because you also carry the expectations for making that person happy. Spike puts the responsibility for his own happiness at the feet of Drusilla and Buffy - whether it's "Take me out of a world that has you in it", "I hope she fries/I'm free if that bitch dies", or "I got this, the soul, for you."

In a sense, Spike wears his emotions, his pain, like a designer statement, if that makes sense. In Lovers' Walk the "love's bitch" speech isn't meant to mean he is the only one who is love's bitch (ie victim), but that Buffy and Angel are as well; they are all three "love's victim" but he's the only one who is "man enough to admit it". (I guess Buffy hasn't got the stones? *lol*) He actually makes a big deal about his feelings but doesn't know how to change them or deal with them except by violent action, drinking and pleasure, being in a relationship with a woman whom he can focus on and lavish attention; he doesn't know how to actually deal with his emotions, because he's invested in the ideal of "the beloved". (We see that in FFL, in William's interactions with Cecily, whom he loves but we have no idea if he's ever even talked to; and with Buffy, telling her she's a little "in love with death" and then trying to kiss her - trying to seduce her with the idea that she is "in love with death" hopefully leading to her inevitably giving into it, that is, giving in to him as the personification of death. Oh be careful what you wish for Spike.)

I've wondered if some of the subtext/meaning of the line from the song the First uses to trigger him "How could you use a poor maid so?" isn't about that to some degree. It's read literally as "how could you hurt the girl (his victims)?" as he himself keeps saying "don't hurt the girl"; but I think there's another aspect and it came to me when watching "Sleeper". "I got the changes FOR YOU." He still sees the soul as something he did "for Buffy", and ergo she carries responsibility for it, for his feelings, and he needs to let go of that, of her for that very reason. The late seasons are largely about Buffy, Spike, Willow and the other characters "growing up" and taking responsibility for their actions. For a time Buffy, Spike and Faith are only able to objectify each other as "other", either someone to look up to or to take down, while they look to another person to fulfill them. Willow does the same with Tara, and in fact Tara does the same with Willow to a lesser extent: "I am, you know...yours." Angel and Riley both look to Buffy to "complete them" as well, to be what they want her to be.

I don't know if that made any sense?