dragonyphoenix | Fic: Lessons from Machiavelli

Title: Lessons from Machiavelli
Summary: Buffy's not sure about the new Watcher. Neither are the other Slayers.
Rating: PG
Characters: Buffy; Giles; Dr. Smith; the robot
Crossover: BtVS; Lost in Space
Disclaimer: They will be mine, oh yes they will, once I've taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha!
Note: Belated - very belated - birthday present for Beer Good Foamy. Inspired by these drabbles about trying out new types of Watchers.

“Desist you jaded jackanapes and spare me your youthful intuition.”

Buffy glared across the room. The words were bad enough but the tone was unforgivable. Apparently she wasn't the only one to think so. Ruth pulled out a knife. The Watcher, who wasn't going to be a Watcher much longer if Buffy had any say, let out a loud shriek and ducked behind a large … What was that thing? It was almost human-ish in form but didn't look human at all. Its head was a transparent bubble that looked like a glass wheel which had been turned on its side and filled with circuitry. The arms and what she guessed were supposed to be legs looked more like accordions. The, um, thing, started flailing its arms about. “Warning. Warning.”

“Is that a robot?”

Giles shouted across the gym. “Ruth. Knife away. Now.” He turned back to Buffy. “Ah, yes. Dr. Smith insisted on bringing it.”

“It's not evil, is it?”

“Less so than Dr. Smith, I believe.”

That sounded less than promising. Since they'd taken over in place of the Council, Giles had made some odd choices when hiring new Watchers.

“Less evil. Than our new Watcher. The one who knows nothing of magic or demons, not to mention fighting.”

“Buffy …”

“He's a devious schemer and a pompous poltroon, and he's messing with my vocabulary. I shouldn't even know that poltroon is a word much less what it means.”

“His skill set may be, ah, unique, but it is necessary.”

“He's a backstabbing ...”

“Exactly my point,” Giles interrupted. “Since we are taking on the Council's role, our Slayers will have to learn how to deal with petty, backstabbing bureaucrats. Preferably when not in the field. Smith will manipulate them. Given the smallest incentive, Smith will betray them.”

He stopped and glared across the room. “Pardon me one moment.” Raising his voice, he called out. “Ruth, we do not poke holes into our Watchers. Put that knife away and keep it there. I mean it.”

Turning back to Buffy, he continued on. “But working with Dr. Smith or someone like him is the only way our Slayers are going to learn how to recognize manipulation and respond without physical violence. It's much better they learn that here where we can keep an eye on them and intervene if they get out of hand.”

“Geez, we may as well have hired Ethan Rayne.”

“Actually I've been meaning to discuss that with you.”

“Giles!”

“Ethan starts Tuesday.”

Buffy turned and strode across the room to join the Slayers being lectured at by this Dr. Smith. “Give me your knife,” she told Ruth. Then, sweetly, she said to Dr. Smith, “Go on.” Fine, she'd give Giles' new Watchers a chance, and if she didn't like him, maybe she'd let Ruth poke holes in Dr. Smith. And if it really went bad, Ethan was hers.