To me "mean" implies "cruel, deliberately inflicting pain for pain's sake" and can only be used when you have permission from yourself to be outright malicious and selfish (e.g. in theatrical play, or in self-defense against an evil and powerful opponent)...for me, almost never...
...whereas "hurtful" implies "I recognize the probability of pain here" and is STILL a great big flashing neon sign for caution, examine one's motives and prioritizes, but it isn't *necessarily* prioritizing one's own petty goals over another's well-being, since sometimes help can be painful...
But maybe I am completely on the wrong foot here. This certainly isn't what the original post from dragonyphoenix seemed to be saying to me; I interpreted that as being more about the common tendency, which I certainly share, to prioritize just about EVERYTHING over genuine consideration for *someone else's* emotional and mental well-being.
Sometimes reflexively looking for the gray area gets me in trouble. Some things should be allowed to stand. Like "stop hurting me."
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...whereas "hurtful" implies "I recognize the probability of pain here" and is STILL a great big flashing neon sign for caution, examine one's motives and prioritizes, but it isn't *necessarily* prioritizing one's own petty goals over another's well-being, since sometimes help can be painful...
But maybe I am completely on the wrong foot here. This certainly isn't what the original post from dragonyphoenix seemed to be saying to me; I interpreted that as being more about the common tendency, which I certainly share, to prioritize just about EVERYTHING over genuine consideration for *someone else's* emotional and mental well-being.
Sometimes reflexively looking for the gray area gets me in trouble. Some things should be allowed to stand. Like "stop hurting me."