I'm Eeyore, Part 2

[dragonyphoenix]

A couple of friends reminded me that nobody knows what happend after the last rather depressing posting.  So, I spoke to the EAP (mental health servies for my job).  The guy, who was one of the most soft-spoken people I've ever heard, asked a bunch of questions and agreed that me seeing a therapist would be a good idea.  He sent me a list of referrals which went straight to my spam box.  Since I'd forgotten he'd told me that might happen, I didn't see them until just now.

Now I get to check out and interview therapists.  Hopefully I'll find one I like and have an interview before the end of the week.

As for what else is going on, I feel both better and worse.  I've been more generally depressed.  I've been writing regularly up until this week.  I did start back up with the writing on Wednesday but only because I had set some written goals the day before.  Mostly I've been watching tv (the cheesier the show the better), which isn't like me.  I mean, OK, I can enjoy cheesy tv, but I generally keep busy, with writing mostly.  On the other hand, work has been good (which it so rarely is) and the weather has been nice so I've gotten out to the park which has definitely helped with my mood, at least temporarily.

I did have what I think was a panic attack the other night day at work.  I'm not sure what triggered it (never happened before), but I recalled something shakensilence had said about DBT, looked it up, and tried an exercise which calmed me right down and no pounding heart since.  The exercise I did was to imagine myself somewhere else: I went to a swimming hole I know of, at night.  It's a pagan campground and they used to suggest everyone set up altars for one of the festivals.  One guy created floating altars, with candles, in the swimming hole.  So I was there, floating on one of those plastic rafts, at night, with the candles twinkling next to me and the stars twinkling above.  It was wonderful!  Actually I should do that again, just because it was so cool.

Comments

[lemorttoussaint.livejournal.com]

Good luck with the interviews! I hope they go well, and you find someone to talk to that can really help.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I looked up one online and she's a licensed clinical social worker which is one of the requirements my friend Kat (recent Ph.D. in social work and personal experience as a therapist) came up with for me. So I do have reason to think it'll go well.

I was just working on my gratitude list for the week. My first one was for everyone who's been so supportive, helping me get through all of this.

[diebirchen.livejournal.com]

Eeyore had friends who loved him too.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Awwww, thanks! Eeyore was my sister's favorite; I preferred Tigger although that's the exact opposite of my personality.

[diebirchen.livejournal.com]

Tigger had a good heart, but I'd find all that bouncing nerve-wracking. I've had panic attacks, but not for a while. Once I got a handle on it, I went the deep-breathing, herbal tea route, and it does help. Thinking of you, sweetie.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

I tend to find people with Tigger energy very annoying, but he's still my favorite of the characters. I tried a breathing/meditation for the panic attack but it didn't seem to help. The visualization did me much more good.

[diebirchen.livejournal.com]

Whatever works, dear heart. Thinking of you!

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Awww, thanks. That makes me happy!

[spikesjojo.livejournal.com]

Oh, what a fantastic image. I can picture it so well!

Good luck on the therapists. I always say that there are two kinds of people - the people who need therapy and get it, and the people who need therapy. ;-)

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

It was an awesome visualization. I'm at the library (faster net access), about to look up the recommended therapists.