on the plus side

[dragonyphoenix]

I called Dad last night for Father's Day, and he was working out how I could fit into his home if I need to. I don't believe that will become necessary, but I felt - and still feel - encouraged that he's ready to support me to that extent.

Comments

[kerkevik-2014.livejournal.com]

Hi Cordelia! *waves* ;-)

You did miss out a couple of Me's though :-)

*whistles innocently*

kerk

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Hi, it's great to hear from you but I have no idea what you're trying so say here. Could you elaborate?

[kerkevik-2014.livejournal.com]

Cordelia from the penultimate ep of S1 of Buffy; explaining why Marcie Ross is being mean, though she doesn't know it's Marcie Ross. You onl used one me of course :-)

kerk

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

So you're saying I'm being selfish? Maybe but I'm facing possible continued unemployment and homelessness. Until last night I didn't know if Dad would help out and it's a relief to know he will.

And I wasn't looking for financial help from my sister. I was looking for a contact who would give me unbiased feedback. I'm not upset that Jackie didn't offer to help. I'm upset she doesn't care enough to want to know what I'm going through. That along with her "you're always there for family" post makes me think she doesn't see me as family. And that hurts.

[kerkevik-2014.livejournal.com]

Selfish! No, I'm surprised you'd think I meant that.

I was making a joke; obviously an unsuccessful one referencing a famous Cordelia quote to another Buffy fan. I was trying, and failing badly, to create a little cheer.

My apologies.

kerk

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Oh. Oops!

Sometimes I can't tell how I'm appearing, if I'm seeing too self-centered or not. And today, as part of a massive introspection session, I was reviewing my aunt Alice's comments about me at Yule, where she said I was arrogant and thought I was better than everyone else and strongly implied that I was being big with the obliviousness. So I guess I was in some way expecting everyone to see me that way.

I did get a lot of clarity on family patterns and the limits of healing, but I also realized there are family relationships - between my sister and myself as well as between my aunt and myself - that aren't going to heal. There has to be a willingness to see the problem and to change on both sides and as far as I can tell, neither of them has even that insight much less the willingness.

On the plus side, the relationship that did heal was me and my Dad.

[snogged.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you have a good relationship with your dad.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Me too. We had some trouble a few years back but my therapist helped me work through them and now we're getting along great!