Entries tagged with aaargh!

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Plague Rats

Tina at work left early yesterday because her son was being sent home from school. She sounded quite agitated but I didn't pay it much mind because she tends to over dramatize things. Learned today he's getting tested for COVID so of course she is too. Now she's one of the people who wear their masks like a chinstrap. Not only that when she talks to someone, she's right in their personal space. I'm talking hand on your shoulder close.

Today I was working with Barb, the other woman who both doesn't wear a mask and who gets in your face when talking to you. I thought about walking out but then I was moved to another task where I wasn't interacting with Barb. I'm planning to leave soon anyway but I would like to exit the job gracefully.

On a related note, my new t-shirt arrived today. It shows a plague doctor with one of those beak masks and says “Wear your mask, plague rat.”

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office gripes

Barb, who likes to stir up trouble at the office, told us Niki expected 6 of us to get all the mail open in 1 1/2 hours. To give context, The six of us worked on it for 4 hours. Then two of us worked on it for 3 hours. It's still not done.

Now Barb's comment opened up a discussion about how our managers are always expecting more than we can get done. Niki, our manager, came to talk to us about our griping. Niki's manager, Tom, was there as well and Niki's eyes were red as if she'd been crying. I don't know exactly what's up with that but she did explain that managers way up the company chain are looking at the mailroom's productivity (and how far behind schedule we are).

But, going back to the first paragraph, if she expected us to get it done in 1 1/2 hours but it wasn't done in 7, well, I don't feel it was unreasonable of us to discuss how off their expectations are.

Niki told us to come to her if we have issues but that does not work. Bill brought up that it's unfair for newer workers to make $14 / hour when we are making $12. He was told that it is fair. After I'd been standing most of the day, I was given another task where I'd be standing. When I told Sarah (manager who left), that I needed a task that let me sit, she literally laughed.

If everything goes well, I will not be there much longer. *fingers crossed*

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That's all I'm getting?

When I became a permanent employee, my pay went up by $1 / hour. I was appalled. I really expected more.

This week I was told what my first raise will be. Now, mind you, we didn't get a raise last year. The company used the pandemic as an excuse to not give out raises and bonuses. So, first raise, 37-cents / hour. So I went from $12 to $12.37 / hour.

I probably would be upset but the day before I'd gotten the date for the next start of a coding bootcamp I'm looking at and if all goes well, I'll have only three more weeks at this job.

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my job and self-harm

Last Wednesday, I almost walked out of my job twice, I thought about running out to the parking lot to scream twice, and I had tears in my eyes once. I'm fed up with my job.

I'm planning to take a coding bootcamp and am trying to decide whether I should quit my job and go full-time or stay and go part-time. I'm afraid of quitting my job but I can barely stand it.

Pros to leaving:

I'll probably stop grinding my teeth
No more crying or wanting to scream at work. Actually I lose a lot of stress and frustration
I'll finish the course much more quickly
None of my co-workers wear masks so less chance of COVID exposure
Self-harm thoughts will go away. I'm literally thinking of stabbing my scissors into my eyeball.

Cons:

afraid I won't get a CS job and that no one will hire me for minimum wage job if they know I'm searching for something else (I actually have ways to mitigate no job offers such as people to refer me to jobs and hackathons)
keep medical and dental insurance

The stopping self-harm thoughts may be the deciding factor. On Nov 8th I wrote in my (handwritten) journal that if thoughts of suicide became more imminent, I could pull money out of my retirement funds and live on that while training for a job that doesn't suck the life out of me. The self-harm thoughts are sufficiently violent that it's time to put that plan into action.

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Spoke with Dad

My Dad is convinced the coronavirus will come into his house through the air conditioner. He's got maybe a smallish yard but there's more than 6 feet between houses. I can't convince him the air is safe.

On the plus side, I did get to play the new Doobie Brothers Live in Isolation track for him:

Watch on YouTube

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aaargh!,
pandemic

coronavirus links

Storing links I find useful in the same place:
Microdroplets suspend in mid-air vid and an article saying we're not likely to catch it that way
Apparently you can catch coronavirus through your eyes
WHO says "poorly ventilated buildings have higher risks of infectious disease transmission". Wow, big surprise that.

In light of new data about how COVID-19 spreads, along with evidence of widespread COVID-19 illness in communities across the country, CDC recommends that people wear a cloth face covering to cover their nose and mouth in the community setting. This is an additional public health measure people should take to reduce the spread of COVID-19 in addition to (not instead of) social distancing, frequent hand cleaning and other everyday preventive actions. A cloth face covering is not intended to protect the wearer, but may prevent the spread of virus from the wearer to others. - CDC website

The Real Reason to Wear a Mask: Masks can be worn to protect the wearer from getting infected or masks can be worn to protect others from being infected by the wearer. Protecting the wearer is difficult: It requires medical-grade respirator masks, a proper fit, and careful putting on and taking off. But masks can also be worn to prevent transmission to others, and this is their most important use for society. If we lower the likelihood of one person’s infecting another, the impact is exponential, so even a small reduction in those odds results in a huge decrease in deaths. Luckily, blocking transmission outward at the source is much easier. It can be accomplished with something as simple as a cloth mask.

And none of this tells me what I really want to know: how likely is it that the assholes at work who won't wear masks are going to give me this disease? After adding the last article, I'd have to say pretty likely.

Edited 5/10: Study showing that 80% mask wearing by day 50 of the outbreak can greatly reduce the spread of the virus.

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busy, busy bees

A career counselor told me last week that taking only one class a semester isn't enough. To show that I've got enough get-up-and-go I apparently need to be taking two classes on top of working full-time which didn't make much sense to me until I read an essay in Wayne Muller's Sabbath (text follows my thoughts on the subject).

I was struck by his description of desired human impulses under the gospel of mass consumption: "grasping, consumption, and desire". This is almost a word-for-word description of Mr. Scrooge before is epiphany. The ideal person in a consumer age does not help neighbors, does not reach out to support the community, and does not live gently on this world, but greedily and selfishly claws to the top of the pile shouting "to hell with all of you. I've got mine."

And perhaps that metaphor took me away from my point. I'm trying to say that under the consumer worldview we're expected to be busy, busy, busy ... so busy that we don't have time to realize we have more than we need. As the economy turns, which it seems to be doing, more and more of us are busy but barely getting by and that's a shame. I wish I knew how to fix it, but I'm busy barely getting by.

The text comes from Wayne Muller's Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in our Busy Lives:
Writing in the mid-1920's, during a time of great economic expansion, industrialist Walter Henderson Grimes lamented that it was "perfectly clear that the middle-class American already busy more than he needs." Grimes was sounding an alarm: he foresaw that the American citizen (not yet a "consumer"), with a long, proud history of self-sufficiency and support from family and neighbors, was in danger of becoming satisfied. Soon, men and women, having worked hard and long ... would realize they had just about all they really needed. They would realize that they could now rest together, happy and satisfied with their good and peaceful lives. .Horrified at this prospect, Grimes cautioned that "unless we have a greater outlet for our goods .. as manufacturing efficiency increases, there will be larger groups with too much leisure."

Leisure, of course, does not produce economic expansion. And so economic cheerleaders ... called for ... the "new economic gospel of consumption." But this new "gospel of consumption" met with some resistance, as most workers did not seem to desire new goods and services -- automobiles, appliances, and amusements -- as spontaneously as they did the old ones -- food, clothing, and shelter. And so, it took the dedicated efforts of investors, marketing experts, advertisers, and business leaders -- as well as the conspicuous and widely publicized spending examples set by the rich -- to fuel the drive to increased consumption.

With this strategic shift, the business community broke its historical concentration on increasing production -- whereby great technologies would free men and women from the sweat and toil of their labors -- and replaced it with a completely new and improved vision of progress: the Gospel of Mass Consumption. ...

Thus, intentionally or not, the free marketplace canonized grasping, consumption, and desire as the essential human impulses that would drive the machine of civilization.

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Writing!

Last week I took off from Wednesday through Friday, five days including the weekend, for my birthday. After four days of work, I was so frustrated, I called off today. For the first time in about half a year, I'm finally writing.

So to destress enough to write, I apparently need six days off from work or maybe that should be eight (to include this weekend) because if I had to go in tomorrow, I wouldn't be writing tonight.

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work work work

Ate a 14" pizza and cake for dinner. I really need a less crappy job.

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when you realize how much worse your day could be ...

I woke up to find my roommate's car gone. I thought she was out running errands until I heard her step out of her room. She's reported it to the police.

edited 2/12: Police found the car. Mostly likely kids took it joyriding. She'll have it back soon. In the meantime, the couple she nannies for lent her their third car, the one she drives the kids aroundin.

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change of plans

That's it. One more thing goes badly at work this week and I'm looking for a new job.

On the plus side, an appropriate topic for my Evil!Binky icon. ;-)

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why can't I have nice things?

My holiday plans keep going up in smoke. Dad cancelled his trip here for Thanksgiving at the last minute. Donna B cancelled Thanksgiving dinner because she was coming down with bronchitis. (Good call there). Donna P cancelled game night because she was also coming down with bronchitis. (They go to the same church and people had gone in sick the weekend before) I just missed the work holiday party because I couldn't find a frigging casino! (Which actually is really just like me). Aargh! This is getting old.

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drat!

Aaargh! My roommate's returning a day early. After nine days to myself, I'd just, finally!, gotten into the deeply relaxed zone and now I have less than a full day to enjoy it.

On the plus side, Emma the dog won't be alone all day tomorrow when I return to work.

Edited later: Oooh, and we can let Emma zoom around in the yard tonight! (Since she's Kat's dog, I don't like to let her off the leash unless Kat is there.)

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Frack

After driving all over creation looking at cars, my cell phone is missing. Grrr

Two auto accidents, one of which has me taking PT. A deliberately broken window in my car. Something else that I'm spacing now. Whoever the hell has cursed me can just lay off now!

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would a cushion help

Ouch! Someone at work decided they wanted a more comfortable chair and so switched mine with another. On top of residual accident injuries, this is leaving my legs and knees feeling quite sore. I'm thinking I need a chair cushion. Do you think that'd make a difference? If yes, any recommendations on brands?

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Ow!

My car was hit yesterday. As I was moving on a green light, a young man tried to change lanes but didn't see my car. The paint was scraped along the side of my car and the front fender crumbled in on his. I thought I was fine at first but my knee aches and my back aches. ;-(

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want sleep ;-(

Oh my Goddess, I want my own place! My own quiet place where roommies aren't playing video games at midnight and giggling

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almost 2 hours!

I've been unemployed for a while and can't afford to keep the house. As you can imagine, my "fix it" budget isn't huge. I just spent an hour and fifty minutes talking to a guy about refacing my kitchen cabinets. What a long and drawn out sales pitch!

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aaargh!

UPS sucks!

Warning: ranty rant is ranty.

Arrrrgh! UPS suck at pick-ups! They came to pick up a package today. They did not knock. They did not ring the bell. They just left a note saying they couldn’t pick it up. When Leslie called, she was told it’s their policy to not knock and not ring the bell. WHAT THE FUCK What kind of a policy is that? They expect their customers to sit around watching the door all day?

Edit: Okay, I read poetry for an hour. I feel better now.

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It's the pissing-off my family, accurate nativity play!

Right, I’ve spent far too much time lately being reasonable. Now I get to be bitchy.

I believe it’s sacrilegious to be offended by this version of the nativity. Jesus’ death is a necessary condition of salvation. Humanity can only be saved because Jesus became human and died. For Jesus to have a human death, he had to have a human birth. Those who prefer to think of Jesus coming out of Mary’s vagina floating on an illuminated cloud are denying Jesus’ human birth. They are thereby denying Jesus’ human death. If Jesus didn’t have a human death, then no one is saved. The people who are offended by this video are condemning is all to suffer in Hell for all eternity.