dragonyphoenix | Of Pepperoni and Cocoa Nibs

Title: Of Pepperoni and Cocoa Nibs
Fandom: BtVS
Prompt: 454 - Outcast
Rating: PG
Summary: Part 24 of Shanshu
Word Count: 1325
Note: Cell phone tune: Dragon Age: Inquisition "The Dawn Will Come"

The Slayers must have ordered pizza. It made sense. Andrew might not be a teen anymore but even now he'd live on pizza if he could. Well, okay, maybe not all the time because Chinese or Thai made for a nice change of pace, but pizza was really good, and quick, and convenient to split up with the grabbing at the slices and not having to figure out who ordered which little box of food. But what he couldn’t get was why they'd piled the empty boxes into a maze. The boxes towered above him and he had to squeeze himself through. Something was after him, something fast, something big like a bear although he couldn't see how a bear could squeeze through such tiny passageways. Every turn showed more pizza boxes piled as high as the eye could see, leaving only one path to follow. Behind him Andrew could hear boxes tumbling. Was that how the bear was moving so fast, by shoving boxes out of its way? Why hadn't he thought of that but it was too late. He'd run into a dead end and the beast was just around the corner.

“Aaaah!” When he woke, the bear was still there.

“We haven't given you anything to scream about yet.”

The man was big, as big a bear of a man as he'd been in Andrew's nightmare, although he hadn't really gotten a good look at the bear in his dream so he wasn't sure how he knew they were the same size. Andrew found himself seated on a chair but not tied up or anything which was nice. Behind the beast of a man, Andrew saw pizza boxes piled up on a ledge. The ovens were off but the place still smelled of pizza. Actually it smelled better than the 'za they usually ordered. “Hey, is this a pizza place? Because we usually order from Tony's New York pizza but I'm not sure it really is New York pizza because we're all the way on the other side of the country and I've heard that for it to be authentic New York pizza you have to use New York water. What kind of water do you use? Do you do any of those really weird toppings because some of the girls like really odd stuff. I mean, they aren't as bad as Dawn and did you know you can get chocolate on pizza? Not chocolate chips or anything but those little cocoa nibs. I'm a peperoni only kind of a guy because, really, pepperoni is the only authentic pizza topping. Okay, maybe onions or jalapeno along with the pepperoni, but that’s it. Do you offer discounts? We usually get discounts at …”

“Enough!” Andrew really hoped that guy wasn't a beast, but you couldn't tell from the way he bellowed.

And maybe he should try dealing with someone who wasn't a scary guy. Andrew turned to the woman, the dame that is, the babe, a hot little number with legs that ran for miles, a face to make the angels sing, and a voice … “Hey, don't I know you? You look really familiar but I can't think of where from. It wasn't a dark alley, was it?”

“Outside of my doctor's office. You and your students were running through a play.”

“Oh yeah, how're you doing?”

“We're looking for a man.”

“You'll get nothing from me, coppers.”

“Coppers?” The beast man – he must the the muscle, the thug, which made the skirt the brains of the outfit – didn't seem to like being called a copper.

“Uh, kidnappers?”

The thug cracked his knuckles.

“Uh, I'm a man, or I mean sort of, or no, I don't mean sort of 'cause I'm a real man but I'm not a specific man that is if you're looking for someone specific and not a man in general. This doesn't have to do with any kind of a ritual, does it?”

The dame's hand, slammed against the metal of the counter, left a sort of musical note ringing in the air. She pulled her hand away, leaving a headshot, a photo, a black and white, staring back at Andrew. The hair was longer than he was used to and not bleached, but he recognized the mug straight off. “I'm pretty sure I don't know him.” He wasn't going to give Spike away. He wasn't. He wasn't. But then the goon growled. “Oh, Spike. Sure I know Spike. We've been looking for him.”

The beauty and the beast looked at each other. “You don't have him?”

“No. We did. Well, no, we didn't. I mean Xander saw him but that was about it because before Xander could make contact he was arrested and taken down to the big house, the slammer, the can, the clink, the cooler, shut up in solitary confinement, sent down the river …”

The woman leaned over him, in really close. Even though she was small, up this close she was scarier than the thug. “Will went looking for you.”

“Will?” Why was she bringing Willow into it? Was she going after Willow too? She'd get a big surprise there, what with Willow's big magic mojo, unless she already knew about the magic mojo. In either case, he needed to keep her busy, distracted, far from the completion of her nefarious plan. And also to give the Slayers time to find him. “Willow's was a tragic love. Outcast from love by the death of her soulmate, Tara, the girl Willow met in college, her first kiss, her first love, her first romance. The force of their love drew them together from across the campus to activities room 12-C where they fell in love at their first glance, when their eyes first met ..”

“Not Willow. Who the hell's Willow? Him.” The doll tapped the photo.

Oh, Will as in William as in the Bloody. That made more sense.

“He went to Mr. Harris' hotel,” the dame continued, “and now Will is missing. We know you have him.”

“No, no, there's been no having. He went to see Xander but then he ran off. Spike, I mean, not Xander, and we have no idea where he is, Spike I mean. I know where Xander went.” Maybe he shouldn't have said that. What if they went after Xander next. They're looking for Spike. Talk about Spike. “Spike's was a tragic love. An outcast, spurned by his one true love, by the woman he'd adored for over a hundred years, by Drusilla the mad Seeress, who'd taken one look at the lovelorn poet and had chosen him for her Childe. Although some say Angelus was Spike's Sire, I don't …”

“How many years?” The skirt had a voice you could chisel ice with.

“Are you messing with us little man?” the thug growled.

“No, no. I'd never mess with someone as scary as you.”

A song rang out from his jacket pocket. “Shadows fall, and hope has fled. Steel your heart. The dawn will come.” Andrew pulled out his cell. “Hey, I have to take this. Do you mind waiting? What's up Dawnster?”

“Andrew, I'm in Sunnydale. I need you to come get me.”

“Uh, I'm sort of tied up right now. Do you think you could call Xander? Oh, and Willow's in town. Maybe she could teleport you back.”

“Tied up? You've been kidnapped again.”

“No, I'm not tied up. Did I say tied up?”

“Andrew, I can tell when you've been kidnapped.”

“Well, it's not like you've never been kidnapped.”

The thug grabbed the cell and crushed it. His fists were big, really big. And strong. “Please don't kill me.”

“Kill you?” The thug slapped him on the shoulder. “I'm not gonna kill you, not unless I have to. I like you. Too many schmucks want all kinds of weird crap on their pizza. Not everybody gets that the only true topping is pepperoni.”

Of Pepperoni and Cocoa Nibs

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