dragonyphoenix: Blackadder looking at scraps of paper, saying "It could use a beta" (Blackadder)
dragonyphoenix ([personal profile] dragonyphoenix) wrote2015-04-15 07:51 pm

Fic: Oh, but You're a Pretty Thing

I've been playing around with rewriting some of my shorter stories. The variants of this story can be found on AO3.

He'd follow Darla anywhere – oh, but you're a pretty thing – even into a dark alley, even when he knew he shouldn't shut his eyes, even when he knew he should run like Hell.

He didn't think twice when she'd offered him the dark-haired gypsy girl, even when the lass' curses had rained down like a flood from Heaven itself. Curse me? Ah, but you’re a stupid thing. Can’t you see I’m already cursed?

He'd follow Darla anywhere, even into the worst mistake he could make. What kills you makes you stronger, not smarter.

[identity profile] velvetwhip.livejournal.com 2015-04-16 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
Love this!

It can be very invigorating to go back and rework earlier efforts, so go you!


Gabrielle

[identity profile] dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com 2015-04-16 03:32 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks. It has been invigorating.

[identity profile] dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com 2015-04-16 03:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you.

[identity profile] snogged.livejournal.com 2015-04-16 12:22 pm (UTC)(link)
That's awesome. :)

[identity profile] dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com 2015-04-16 03:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you. *grin*
ext_1707915: (Default)

[identity profile] rbfvid.livejournal.com 2015-04-16 06:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, terrific last line!

[identity profile] dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com 2015-04-16 10:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Yah, I do like that line. ;-)

[identity profile] xspike4evax.livejournal.com 2015-04-17 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)

Loved it!  Especially the last line. It had both an Angel & Angelus feel to it somehow ; genius.  I also got a strong sense of Darla even though she doesn't feature, great job with packing so much into a drabble.

Edited 2015-04-17 21:41 (UTC)

[identity profile] dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com 2015-04-18 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow, thank you!

You're right, it does have both an Angel and Angelus feel. I think a lot of that comes from how oh, but you're a pretty thing turns into ah, but you're a stupid thing. You get a sense of the same underlying character but a sense of wonder vs. arrogance.