dragonyphoenix: Blackadder looking at scraps of paper, saying "It could use a beta" (Blackadder)
dragonyphoenix ([personal profile] dragonyphoenix) wrote2016-02-03 06:46 pm

Ask Amy

This reminds me how Dad is treated in my family, by his sisters, by my cousins, and by my sister. Possibly even by me in the past. Don't get me wrong; Dad can be really tough to get along with, but if you explain where's he's being unreasonable, he will take it in and change his behavior.
Also, I adore Amy's response to the sanctimonious bitch.

hard-feelings.jpg

[identity profile] red-satin-doll.livejournal.com 2016-02-04 01:35 am (UTC)(link)
WOW.

This woman gives Donald Trump a run for his money in the "selfish and self-centered with ZERO self-awareness" department.

WOW.

I can't even.

It makes me sad that your dad has been treated this way by his own family, saying "their loss" probably doesn't help.

[identity profile] dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com 2016-02-04 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
The woman's attitude is incredibly mind-boggling.

No, "Their loss" doesn't help. It's hit him pretty hard over the years. ;-(

[identity profile] red-satin-doll.livejournal.com 2016-02-04 02:01 am (UTC)(link)
My sweetie was terribly estranged from her mother for years, but it simply meant she also had to mourn not just her mother but the loss or lack of a real relationship. She'd deny it (being the stoic type) but it left a hole in her that I don't think can ever be filled.

[identity profile] dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com 2016-02-04 02:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, ouch.

I had troubles with Dad a while back, to the point where we weren't talking, but my therapist pointed out that I did want to be in contact with him. I'm so glad she did.

[identity profile] red-satin-doll.livejournal.com 2016-02-04 04:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I know you've done a lot of work on your issues in general and specifically with your dad; I'm very proud of you for that and I know you won't regret that, whatever happens.

[identity profile] dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com 2016-02-04 06:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I definitely don't regret therapy. Actually, there were signs of rage when I was a teen. I'm wishing someone had gotten me to a therapist back then!

I'm not at a point where I can see behaviors are motivated by my issues but I don't know how to change my behaviors. All I've got is to meditate regularly and hope that will help over the long term.

[identity profile] velvetwhip.livejournal.com 2016-02-04 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
I feel for your Dad. I hope someday he realizes that they're beneath him anyway.


Gabrielle

[identity profile] dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com 2016-02-04 02:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks. He's in a hurt / pissed off / vengeful kind of a place. He's taken them out of his will and made sure that I know it.

[identity profile] velvetwhip.livejournal.com 2016-02-04 03:52 am (UTC)(link)
I love Amy for this. LOVE HER.


Gabrielle

[identity profile] dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com 2016-02-04 02:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes. So much.

[identity profile] punch-kicker15.livejournal.com 2016-02-04 04:21 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, man. I was talking to my husband the other day about someone like this, and the part that infuriates me the most isn't even the mistreatment, it's the blaming the victim for the mistreatment. Good for Amy for nailing that particular dynamic here. Unfortunately I think the letter writer and people like her are too stuck in their own little fantasy worlds to get it.

[identity profile] dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com 2016-02-04 02:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, blaming the victim, just horrible. And I agree, even with this input I doubt the woman will get it.

[identity profile] snogged.livejournal.com 2016-02-04 01:07 pm (UTC)(link)
No insight and no self-awareness.

I think Amy got her reply spot-on.

Sorry to hear your dad's been treated this way.

[identity profile] dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com 2016-02-04 02:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks. And yep, Amy hit the nail on the head!

[identity profile] kerkevik-2014.livejournal.com 2016-02-05 12:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Like looking into a mirror of your own family relationships. :-(

kerk

[identity profile] dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com 2016-02-07 04:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Unfortunately yes.