Fic: Saved the Day

[dragonyphoenix]

Note: Written for the prompt or rescue at Open on Sunday but not posted there because it's too long.

"Speed of lightning, roar of thunder.”

Saturday morning. 5:30. Dawn had cranked the volume. Buffy stared at her ceiling. Three. Two. One. Mom’s door slammed. The tv clicked off. “Go to your room.”

“What are you gonna do? Ground me even more?”

“Honey, you’re not grounded.”

“Feels like it.” And there went Dawn, stomping up the stairs.

Not even in Sunnydale could a blown-up high-school be blamed on PCP crazed druggies. There’d been talk of a bomber, like that guy in Oklahoma City. Mom had pretty much kept them in the house ever since.

On tv, once the hero saved the day, he got the girl – not that Buffy wanted a girl – but once the day was saved, everything was fixed. She’d saved the day. So why was everything broken?

Comments

[velvetwhip.livejournal.com]

I love this! Like the way you brought in Dawn.


Gabrielle

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I was worried that Buffy's PoV and not being told Joyce went down the stairs might be confusing, might suggest she was talking to Buffy. Since it's for a drabble site, I was trying to keep the word count down.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

I love this! Like the way you brought in Dawn.

Me too (on both counts). SUMMERS WOMEN APPRECIATION FTW!

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

;-)

[kikimay]

Awww, I really love this missing moment.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I rather like writing missing moments.

[snogged.livejournal.com]

Very nice!

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Thank you. ;-)

[double_dutchess]

Wonderful little scene from the real life of a hero.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *grin*

[rbfvid.livejournal.com]

It's a wonderful missing scene!

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Thank you. *huge grin*

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Excellent. I can see Buffy felling exactly like this.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

*grin* Thank you.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

I love seeing this peek into the Summers family household - more please?

It was a wee bit confusing at first but that have been my lack of blood sugar; it made more sense on the second read.

So why was everything broken?

Ouch.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I thought it might be confusing but wasn't sure. It helps me tremendously to know you had to read it through twice to make sense of it.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Just don't ask me exactly what I was confused by. It's like the translator on the Enterprise - all of the sudden I "got it".

Thank you for being so open to feedback. :D

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Well let's see, 1) unless you're familiar with Underdog, you wouldn't have recognized the opening line. And NOW I think of going with the Itchy and Scratchy show. ;-)

2) There's nothing indicating Mom went downstairs from her bedroom

3) At first it might not have been obvious that she was speaking to Dawn when she said "Go to your room."

4) If you didn't catch Underdog, then what had Dawn cranked the volume on? Plus you might not have picked up that Dawn was downstairs.

I'm happy to get feedback.

And, wow, when I spell it out there's quite a bit that's potentially confusing, more than I'd realized.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Underdog was one of my favorite cartoons when I was a very little girl - it's been decades since I've seen it!

"The tv clicked off" helps of course. I'm not sure if it's confusing or I was just worn out and tired from shoveling snow for three hours when I read this.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Three hours? Ouch!

I lucked out. My rooomie did the little shoveling that there was. I only had to clear off my car.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Lucky you.