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dragonyphoenixTitle: Adrift in a Sea of Discarded Desires 4/5
Series: Double!Verse
Fandom: BtVS
Characters/Pairing: Buffy, Willow/Spike
Rating: R overall but more like PG in this chapter
Concrit: Please, in comments
Disclaimer: They aren't mine, not yet, but the will be once I've taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha.
Warnings/Squicks: None in this section
Summary: Sequel to Conjuring Love from the Ashes of an Old Flame – as the love spell wears off, Willow and Spike remain together, but an unexpected arrival might change things forver.
Notes: I read Marge Piercy's Woman at the Edge of Time to get an idea of what it might be like in a mental institution. Excellent story, BTW.
Buffy had been on-edge all day. It felt like ants crawling over her skin, so much so that she'd had to stop herself from brushing the not-there ants away. Instead she focused on a puzzle, which was pretty easy and not much of a distraction, but it gave her something to pass the time and was a big check mark with the attendants on the good behavior column. Her foot was twitching a mile a minute. Each time she noticed it, she stopped it, but the next time she thought to look, it was twitching away again.
Just before dinner, not knowing why she was doing it, Buffy stepped out of line and peered through the door's window into the hallway. She raised her hands, pressing them against the door as if that could block out what she'd seen. It was the start of her nightmare. Charlie, his shirt stained with coffee, tossing a Starbuck's cup into the trash.
After dinner, there was another two hours in the common room before lights out. Buffy found herself staring out the window, not caring that she was losing good-girl points as she scanned the palm trees and bushes, looking for the figures that couldn't be there before sunset. If they aren't there, does that mean I'm nuts?
No, in the dream you don't see them until they're at your door.
Then why am I watching?
She knew she needed help. Glancing around the room, scanning with her eyes only so she wouldn't give her intention away, Buffy found her target. She wandered the room finally sitting down as if by chance next to an Asian woman, old enough to be her grandmother, whose with dark black hair grew out gray from the roots. The woman insisted on being called Mrs. Lee although Buffy had overheard a couple of the nurses saying she'd never been married.
Buffy slid her hand out, leaving it between them until Mrs. Lee had slipped her hand underneath. As Buffy dropped down a twenty, Mrs. Lee asked, “What do you want?” The money had vanished.
“On the way back to our cells tonight, I'll need a distraction.”
“They'll drug me if I do.” Despite Mrs. Lee's words, Buffy kept quiet, knowing that the woman was considering it. Since she never had visitors, Mrs. Lee had no way to get cash for say a candy bar, which could be bought by someone with outside privileges at the vending machines, or for the drugs brought in by the attendants and nurses. When Mrs. Lee nodded, Buffy returned to the windows.
When it was time to line up, Buffy made sure she was ahead of Mrs. Lee, with about six people between them. As Mrs. Lee stepped out of the common room into the hallway, she stopped and started yelling. “How come we have to go to bed so early? I'm not tired. Why are you dragging us back to our rooms? I want to watch tv.”
As Charlie tried to grab Mrs. Lee, she slipped behind Maggie, a truck of a woman, big and mean, whom even the attendants were cautious of. Diego, a tall, shy man started banging his head against the wall. The night nurse ran over, leaving the desk unattended. As Buffy snuck over, looking for anything wooden, figuring she'd have to settle for a pencil, Dr. Motherwell stepped out from around the corner. Shit, busted, Buffy thought until the doctor slipped something into her hand, whispering, “Keep it hidden.”
Feeling the weight and heft of a stake, Buffy tucked it into her sleeve without looking, her eyes never leaving Dr. Motherwell who moved quickly into the fray, taking charge of the attendants, ordering tranqs for Mrs. Lee and six of the others. “Get them out of there,” Dr. Motherwell shouted to nurse Jenkins, the one who'd left the desk unattended.
Back in her room, Buffy slipped under her blanket before pulling out the stake. It was wood and undeniably there. Why would she do this? Hearing feet making their way down the hall, an attendant checking on the patients, Buffy closed her eyes, pretending to sleep. Dr. Motherwell's a psychiatrist; she can't think vamps are real. There's got to be some sort of law about that, some sort of test she had to pass before they gave her a degree. Vamps not real, big checkmark.
After a second walk-through, another person making the rounds, Buffy got out of bed, knowing an attendant wouldn't be around again for hours. She paced the room dozens of times, striking out with the stake, getting a feel for it. Even after almost three years, it felt natural, as if it were an extension of her arm.
Looking at the stake, she said, “Maybe you were a test. Maybe I wasn't supposed to take the stake, which means I failed and they know for sure I'm off my rocker.” Buffy crawled onto her bed, placing her back against the wall with her knees pulled up to her chest. “But if it was a test, why do I still have you?”
Feeling something wet on her cheeks, she brought a hand up, wiping at her face. Tears. “I thought I was getting better,” she whispered. “Guess I was wrong, guess no matter how good it gets, no matter how normal my life looks, I could lose it all. One stupid test, and I'm back to being the same old loony Buffy.”
She sat there for a long time, not moving, her only light the little that streaked in through the door's window. She sat there until the screaming started. Leaping up into a fighting stance, Buffy stepped close to the wall, away from the trajectory her dream told her the door would take, and just like it had happened in her dream, the door crashed against the far wall and two vampires stood in the hall, blocking her in. “Hey baby,” one said, twirling herself into the room on the edge of the door frame. “Miss me?”
Silently, Buffy stepped into the center of the room.
“Aw, come on, you know me. I'm Willow. Your best friend?”
The other vampire, twin to the speaker, interrupted. “Bored now.”
Willow, never taking her eyes off Buffy, said, “You got to kill Xander.”
Buffy, wondering who Xander was, hoped his death had been quick, but then the screams started again, which meant there were more vampires than she'd expected, not that she knew how she'd survive even one. Three, at least three, she thought. I've taken out more than three before. She didn't feel confident that she'd succeed.
“Fine,” the second vampire said, rolling her eyes. “I'll go play with the Bedlamites while you finish off this little girl.”
“As I was saying,” Willow said, settling against the door. “I do know you. I know about the time your Dad took you ice skating; how you fell and some kid, not watching where he was going, would have skated over your finger if your Dad hadn't yanked you out of the way. I know that when you were eight your house caught on fire, and even though it was put out quickly your Mom tried to toss out the smoke filled toys, but you pulled them out of the trash. I know you had a huge crush on Ford but, awwww, he never noticed you.”
“How do you know all that?”
“I told you, I'm your best friend. Do try to keep up.” When Buffy didn't reply, she added, “Well, we're not friends now, obviously, but before I was Turned.”
“I've never seen you before,” Buffy said.
“I know but it's true anyway. It's why I'm going to kill you, a two for one, best friend and Slayer all in one neat little package except you're not the Slayer, not in this universe.”
Buffy shifted her stance, turning her torso to give Willow less of a target, holding her left arm out towards Willow while slipping the stake out of her sleeve and into her right hand.
Willow walked toward Buffy. “Trying to trick me? I have seen The Princess Bride, hell we've seen it together at least a half-dozen times. I know you're not left-handed.”
Buffy froze, her eyes never leaving Willow. Brushing a hand over Buffy's breast, Willow said, “Mmm, maybe I should play with you a bit first, see how long it takes to break you.” Leaning in to lick Buffy's neck, she whispered, “I wonder what Slayer's blood tastes like.”
Swinging the stake in a wide circle, Buffy stabbed it into Willow's back. “I thought you said I wasn't a Slayer.” As the dust settled to the ground, Buffy stood there, staring at it, not quite believing her eyes.
From the hallway she heard a clatter, the sound of something heavy hitting the ground. “No fair, cheating like that.” It was Willow's voice. Buffy was at the door before she'd even realized she was moving. The second vampire, the twin to the one she'd killed, had her fangs in Dr. Motherwell's throat. The doctor's hands were reaching out, trying to grab a cross that lay on the floor, far out of her reach.
Catching sight of Buffy, the vampire stopped feeding. “You killed her.”
Buffy raised her stake.
“Shit, you really are the Slayer.” Holding Dr. Motherwell against herself like a shield, her eyes widened as if she'd had a revelation. “That bitch lied to us.” Dropping the doctor to the floor, she added, “Sorry, I'd love to stay and fight, but I've got bigger fish to fry.” Racing down the hall, she shouted “Come on if you want to live” before jumping through the window. As the glass shattered out into the darkness, a third vamp, this one with blonde spikes of hair, called out “Willow?” before leaping out after her.
A voice croaked from the floor. “Buffy.”
“Dr. Motherwell?” Buffy dropped to her knees. “Hold on, I'll get help.”
“No time.” Reaching out a hand, she laid it on Buffy's shoulder. “You are the Slayer, never let anyone tell you otherwise. Be careful. The Council, the Watchers... don't trust...” Her hand fell.
Series: Double!Verse
Fandom: BtVS
Characters/Pairing: Buffy, Willow/Spike
Rating: R overall but more like PG in this chapter
Concrit: Please, in comments
Disclaimer: They aren't mine, not yet, but the will be once I've taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha.
Warnings/Squicks: None in this section
Summary: Sequel to Conjuring Love from the Ashes of an Old Flame – as the love spell wears off, Willow and Spike remain together, but an unexpected arrival might change things forver.
Notes: I read Marge Piercy's Woman at the Edge of Time to get an idea of what it might be like in a mental institution. Excellent story, BTW.
Buffy had been on-edge all day. It felt like ants crawling over her skin, so much so that she'd had to stop herself from brushing the not-there ants away. Instead she focused on a puzzle, which was pretty easy and not much of a distraction, but it gave her something to pass the time and was a big check mark with the attendants on the good behavior column. Her foot was twitching a mile a minute. Each time she noticed it, she stopped it, but the next time she thought to look, it was twitching away again.
Just before dinner, not knowing why she was doing it, Buffy stepped out of line and peered through the door's window into the hallway. She raised her hands, pressing them against the door as if that could block out what she'd seen. It was the start of her nightmare. Charlie, his shirt stained with coffee, tossing a Starbuck's cup into the trash.
After dinner, there was another two hours in the common room before lights out. Buffy found herself staring out the window, not caring that she was losing good-girl points as she scanned the palm trees and bushes, looking for the figures that couldn't be there before sunset. If they aren't there, does that mean I'm nuts?
No, in the dream you don't see them until they're at your door.
Then why am I watching?
She knew she needed help. Glancing around the room, scanning with her eyes only so she wouldn't give her intention away, Buffy found her target. She wandered the room finally sitting down as if by chance next to an Asian woman, old enough to be her grandmother, whose with dark black hair grew out gray from the roots. The woman insisted on being called Mrs. Lee although Buffy had overheard a couple of the nurses saying she'd never been married.
Buffy slid her hand out, leaving it between them until Mrs. Lee had slipped her hand underneath. As Buffy dropped down a twenty, Mrs. Lee asked, “What do you want?” The money had vanished.
“On the way back to our cells tonight, I'll need a distraction.”
“They'll drug me if I do.” Despite Mrs. Lee's words, Buffy kept quiet, knowing that the woman was considering it. Since she never had visitors, Mrs. Lee had no way to get cash for say a candy bar, which could be bought by someone with outside privileges at the vending machines, or for the drugs brought in by the attendants and nurses. When Mrs. Lee nodded, Buffy returned to the windows.
When it was time to line up, Buffy made sure she was ahead of Mrs. Lee, with about six people between them. As Mrs. Lee stepped out of the common room into the hallway, she stopped and started yelling. “How come we have to go to bed so early? I'm not tired. Why are you dragging us back to our rooms? I want to watch tv.”
As Charlie tried to grab Mrs. Lee, she slipped behind Maggie, a truck of a woman, big and mean, whom even the attendants were cautious of. Diego, a tall, shy man started banging his head against the wall. The night nurse ran over, leaving the desk unattended. As Buffy snuck over, looking for anything wooden, figuring she'd have to settle for a pencil, Dr. Motherwell stepped out from around the corner. Shit, busted, Buffy thought until the doctor slipped something into her hand, whispering, “Keep it hidden.”
Feeling the weight and heft of a stake, Buffy tucked it into her sleeve without looking, her eyes never leaving Dr. Motherwell who moved quickly into the fray, taking charge of the attendants, ordering tranqs for Mrs. Lee and six of the others. “Get them out of there,” Dr. Motherwell shouted to nurse Jenkins, the one who'd left the desk unattended.
Back in her room, Buffy slipped under her blanket before pulling out the stake. It was wood and undeniably there. Why would she do this? Hearing feet making their way down the hall, an attendant checking on the patients, Buffy closed her eyes, pretending to sleep. Dr. Motherwell's a psychiatrist; she can't think vamps are real. There's got to be some sort of law about that, some sort of test she had to pass before they gave her a degree. Vamps not real, big checkmark.
After a second walk-through, another person making the rounds, Buffy got out of bed, knowing an attendant wouldn't be around again for hours. She paced the room dozens of times, striking out with the stake, getting a feel for it. Even after almost three years, it felt natural, as if it were an extension of her arm.
Looking at the stake, she said, “Maybe you were a test. Maybe I wasn't supposed to take the stake, which means I failed and they know for sure I'm off my rocker.” Buffy crawled onto her bed, placing her back against the wall with her knees pulled up to her chest. “But if it was a test, why do I still have you?”
Feeling something wet on her cheeks, she brought a hand up, wiping at her face. Tears. “I thought I was getting better,” she whispered. “Guess I was wrong, guess no matter how good it gets, no matter how normal my life looks, I could lose it all. One stupid test, and I'm back to being the same old loony Buffy.”
She sat there for a long time, not moving, her only light the little that streaked in through the door's window. She sat there until the screaming started. Leaping up into a fighting stance, Buffy stepped close to the wall, away from the trajectory her dream told her the door would take, and just like it had happened in her dream, the door crashed against the far wall and two vampires stood in the hall, blocking her in. “Hey baby,” one said, twirling herself into the room on the edge of the door frame. “Miss me?”
Silently, Buffy stepped into the center of the room.
“Aw, come on, you know me. I'm Willow. Your best friend?”
The other vampire, twin to the speaker, interrupted. “Bored now.”
Willow, never taking her eyes off Buffy, said, “You got to kill Xander.”
Buffy, wondering who Xander was, hoped his death had been quick, but then the screams started again, which meant there were more vampires than she'd expected, not that she knew how she'd survive even one. Three, at least three, she thought. I've taken out more than three before. She didn't feel confident that she'd succeed.
“Fine,” the second vampire said, rolling her eyes. “I'll go play with the Bedlamites while you finish off this little girl.”
“As I was saying,” Willow said, settling against the door. “I do know you. I know about the time your Dad took you ice skating; how you fell and some kid, not watching where he was going, would have skated over your finger if your Dad hadn't yanked you out of the way. I know that when you were eight your house caught on fire, and even though it was put out quickly your Mom tried to toss out the smoke filled toys, but you pulled them out of the trash. I know you had a huge crush on Ford but, awwww, he never noticed you.”
“How do you know all that?”
“I told you, I'm your best friend. Do try to keep up.” When Buffy didn't reply, she added, “Well, we're not friends now, obviously, but before I was Turned.”
“I've never seen you before,” Buffy said.
“I know but it's true anyway. It's why I'm going to kill you, a two for one, best friend and Slayer all in one neat little package except you're not the Slayer, not in this universe.”
Buffy shifted her stance, turning her torso to give Willow less of a target, holding her left arm out towards Willow while slipping the stake out of her sleeve and into her right hand.
Willow walked toward Buffy. “Trying to trick me? I have seen The Princess Bride, hell we've seen it together at least a half-dozen times. I know you're not left-handed.”
Buffy froze, her eyes never leaving Willow. Brushing a hand over Buffy's breast, Willow said, “Mmm, maybe I should play with you a bit first, see how long it takes to break you.” Leaning in to lick Buffy's neck, she whispered, “I wonder what Slayer's blood tastes like.”
Swinging the stake in a wide circle, Buffy stabbed it into Willow's back. “I thought you said I wasn't a Slayer.” As the dust settled to the ground, Buffy stood there, staring at it, not quite believing her eyes.
From the hallway she heard a clatter, the sound of something heavy hitting the ground. “No fair, cheating like that.” It was Willow's voice. Buffy was at the door before she'd even realized she was moving. The second vampire, the twin to the one she'd killed, had her fangs in Dr. Motherwell's throat. The doctor's hands were reaching out, trying to grab a cross that lay on the floor, far out of her reach.
Catching sight of Buffy, the vampire stopped feeding. “You killed her.”
Buffy raised her stake.
“Shit, you really are the Slayer.” Holding Dr. Motherwell against herself like a shield, her eyes widened as if she'd had a revelation. “That bitch lied to us.” Dropping the doctor to the floor, she added, “Sorry, I'd love to stay and fight, but I've got bigger fish to fry.” Racing down the hall, she shouted “Come on if you want to live” before jumping through the window. As the glass shattered out into the darkness, a third vamp, this one with blonde spikes of hair, called out “Willow?” before leaping out after her.
A voice croaked from the floor. “Buffy.”
“Dr. Motherwell?” Buffy dropped to her knees. “Hold on, I'll get help.”
“No time.” Reaching out a hand, she laid it on Buffy's shoulder. “You are the Slayer, never let anyone tell you otherwise. Be careful. The Council, the Watchers... don't trust...” Her hand fell.