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I think I may have just found the most adorable Buffy and tea story ever: The Art of Tea.
CoF Remix Part 3
Dec. 5th, 2015 09:47 amEdited on 23 Dec 15 to include Red Satin Doll's most excellent images for the RSVP and the wedding invitation.
Edited on 23 Dec 15 to fix the size of the images.
The Meaning of True Fear
Mar. 22nd, 2015 10:38 pmPrompt: last-line-first-line challenge: The bastard never saw it coming.
Edit (22 Jan 2016) Nominated at Round 11 of the Running With Scissors Award.
“And the bastard never saw it coming.”
Giles had given up not-wincing hours ago. Anya didn't seem to notice. He did still believe he had a chance of escape, but before he could make good on it, she'd started into another story.
“And then there was the death of a thousand cuts. Of course I waited, oh, about ten minutes between each cut and poured salt into the wounds. The wisher wanted me to stop, you wouldn’t believe how lily-livered some women can be, but of course once the wish is made, it has to run its full course. The one after that was boring. I just pulled out some guy’s intestines. Did you know how long intestines are? I could have knit a sweater with that thing, I mean, if I knew how to knit. Do you think I should knit something for Xander?”
Giles imagined knitted intestines and shuddered.
“Oh, not with an intestine. They’re too thick. Imagine the needles you’d need for that sweater. It’s just, well, I was reading this magazine and it said that girlfriends knit and sew and bake cakes. Do you think Xander would want me to knit?”
That was it. A vengeance demon was bad enough. He wasn’t about to try handling an insecure girlfriend. “Ah, I just remembered, I have an appointment. I’ll be out the rest of the day. The shop is yours.”
Edit (22 Jan 2016) Nominated at Round 11 of the Running With Scissors Award.
“And the bastard never saw it coming.”
Giles had given up not-wincing hours ago. Anya didn't seem to notice. He did still believe he had a chance of escape, but before he could make good on it, she'd started into another story.
“And then there was the death of a thousand cuts. Of course I waited, oh, about ten minutes between each cut and poured salt into the wounds. The wisher wanted me to stop, you wouldn’t believe how lily-livered some women can be, but of course once the wish is made, it has to run its full course. The one after that was boring. I just pulled out some guy’s intestines. Did you know how long intestines are? I could have knit a sweater with that thing, I mean, if I knew how to knit. Do you think I should knit something for Xander?”
Giles imagined knitted intestines and shuddered.
“Oh, not with an intestine. They’re too thick. Imagine the needles you’d need for that sweater. It’s just, well, I was reading this magazine and it said that girlfriends knit and sew and bake cakes. Do you think Xander would want me to knit?”
That was it. A vengeance demon was bad enough. He wasn’t about to try handling an insecure girlfriend. “Ah, I just remembered, I have an appointment. I’ll be out the rest of the day. The shop is yours.”
Fic: Pulling a Rabbit Out
Mar. 13th, 2015 01:25 pmTitle: Pulling a Rabbit Out
Rating: G-ish
Pairing: Giles/Anya
Setting: Tabula Rasa
Word Count: 281
Note: Written for the last-line-first-line challenge at Giles Shorts.
( “Obviously you should take your clothes off.” )
Rating: G-ish
Pairing: Giles/Anya
Setting: Tabula Rasa
Word Count: 281
Note: Written for the last-line-first-line challenge at Giles Shorts.
( “Obviously you should take your clothes off.” )
Fic: Share and Share Alike 2.0
Feb. 17th, 2015 04:07 pmI'm taking some of my stories and rewriting them to improve them. I've spend a couple of hours expanding on Share and Share Alike, which I'd originally kept as a pure drabble.
Note: Xander is watching a Babylon 5 episode, “The Parliament of Dreams”
Note: Xander is watching a Babylon 5 episode, “The Parliament of Dreams”
“After we're married, half of your money will be mine.”
What the hell? Anya could see he was watching the tv. Couldn't that towering pile of wedding magazines keep her busy for at least one episode? Xander clicked up the volume. - How's your aunt? - How's your brother? I can't believe I'm going through all this with you again.
“Xander.” Anya yanked the control out of his hand and muted the volume. “Were you listening to me? Once we're married, half of what’s yours is mine.”
“Yeah, and half of what's yours will be mine.” The control was right there, lying on the couch between them. Knowing better than to pick it up, Xander stared at the tv and added in the muted dialog. - Will you follow me into fire? Into storm? Into darkness? Into death?
Anya's magazine hit the coffee table with a heavy thud. “That's not fair. I worked hard for my money.”
“And my job's a picnic in the park?”
“That's different.”
“It always is honey.”
“So I get to keep my money?”
“Nope, once we two become one, it's share and share alike.” Oh God, unless … unless she caught on to prenups before the wedding. Before she could read the terror on his face and ask what he was thinking, Xander grabbed the control and turned on the volume. - Taste of it and be not afraid. For I am with you to the end of time.
If Dr. Seuss wrote Superstar
Jan. 6th, 2015 06:14 pm
Day 6: In your own space, create a fanwork. A drabble, a ficlet, a podfic, or an icon, art or meta or a rec list. A picspam. Something. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.
( You mean I could have just made a rec list?!? )
Fic: Without a Passport
Aug. 10th, 2014 05:17 pmTitle: Without a Passport
Fandom: BtVS
Warnings: None
Rating: PG
Summary: Waiting for Willow's passport to come through before she can leave for England is difficult or why Willow didn't expect her friends to be supportive when she was sent back.
Note: Written for a prompt of passport at Taming the Muse.
Note: My 26th post at Taming the Muse. I've been posting there for half a year!
( If I change the channel, are you going to blow up the world again? )
Fandom: BtVS
Warnings: None
Rating: PG
Summary: Waiting for Willow's passport to come through before she can leave for England is difficult or why Willow didn't expect her friends to be supportive when she was sent back.
Note: Written for a prompt of passport at Taming the Muse.
Note: My 26th post at Taming the Muse. I've been posting there for half a year!
( If I change the channel, are you going to blow up the world again? )
Fic: Share and Share Alike
Jun. 18th, 2014 09:46 pmSince Anya was busy flipping through some bridal mag, Xander clicked on the tv.
“After we’re married half of your money will be mine.”
“Huh?” He muted the tv.
“After we’re married, half of what’s yours is mine.”
“Yeah, and half of what’s yours will be mine.”
“What?” Man, her shriek could peel tar off a roof. “That’s not fair. I worked hard for my money.”
“And my job’s a picnic in the park?”
“That’s different.”
“It always is, honey.”
“So I get to keep my money?”
“Nope,” Xander said. “Once we two become one, it’s share and share alike.”
“After we’re married half of your money will be mine.”
“Huh?” He muted the tv.
“After we’re married, half of what’s yours is mine.”
“Yeah, and half of what’s yours will be mine.”
“What?” Man, her shriek could peel tar off a roof. “That’s not fair. I worked hard for my money.”
“And my job’s a picnic in the park?”
“That’s different.”
“It always is, honey.”
“So I get to keep my money?”
“Nope,” Xander said. “Once we two become one, it’s share and share alike.”
Fic: Please Come Again
Apr. 4th, 2014 03:37 pmTitle: Please Come Again
Fandom: BtVS
Summary: Sexual humor based on Anya's misunderstandings of language.
Note: Written for a prompt at Giles Shorts: Shopping
Note: Written for a prompt at Open on Sunday: tender
Rating: PG
Characters: Giles, Anya
Disclaimer: They aren't mine, not yet, but they will be … once I've taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha!
Fandom: BtVS
Summary: Sexual humor based on Anya's misunderstandings of language.
Note: Written for a prompt at Giles Shorts: Shopping
Note: Written for a prompt at Open on Sunday: tender
Rating: PG
Characters: Giles, Anya
Disclaimer: They aren't mine, not yet, but they will be … once I've taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha!
Title: The Revelatory Power of the Feminist Revolution is Obvious, Right?
Fandom: BtVS; I Dream of Jeannie
Summary: Willow and Anya trying to explain to Jeannie that she doesn't have to call anyone "Master".
Note: Written for a prompt at Open on Sunday: bottle
Rating: PG
Character: Jeannie, Willow, Anya, Dawn
Disclaimer: They aren't mine, not yet, but they will be … once I've taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha!
Fandom: BtVS; I Dream of Jeannie
Summary: Willow and Anya trying to explain to Jeannie that she doesn't have to call anyone "Master".
Note: Written for a prompt at Open on Sunday: bottle
Rating: PG
Character: Jeannie, Willow, Anya, Dawn
Disclaimer: They aren't mine, not yet, but they will be … once I've taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha!
Fic: Have Great Sex!
Jan. 31st, 2014 09:53 pmTitle: Have Great Sex!
Fandom: BtVS
Summary: “But I wasn't talking about sex, I was wishing them great sex. That's totally different. It's for Valentine's Day: have great sex. Just like you'd say Merry Christmas at Yule or wish someone a happy birthday, but without using the 'wish' word of course. Besides Xander,” she added, her voice taking on a darker tone, “you talk about them having sex. You just don't say 'sex'. You say 'spells' but it's the same thing and everyone knows it.”
Characters: Giles, Anya, Xander, with a cameo appearance by Willow and Tara
Rating: At least PG if not Mature
Note: Given the title, you think I'd be using Open on Sunday's prompt of bound rather than boundaries. *grin* Not posted there because it's longer than 100 words.
Note: I took the list of herbs from Acamar's Harry Potter fanfic Shade More Than Man.
Disclaimer: They will be mine, oh yes they will, once I've taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha!
Fic: The Pen is Mightier
Jan. 25th, 2014 12:33 pmTitle: The Pen is Mightier
Fandom: BtVS
Summary: Anya is less than pleased after Giles has been turned into a rabbit.
Rating: G
Characters: Giles, Anya, Buffy, Ethan
Disclaimer: They will be mine, oh yes they will, once I've taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha!
Note: Written for the prompt of sword(s) at Giles Shorts but not posted there because it's longer than 100 words.
Note: I was going for humor and ended up with crack!fic.
Right, and you're getting it as a link to my AO3 post because I am NOT going back and adding in the paragraph breaks that stupid LJ insists on removing.
Fandom: BtVS
Summary: Anya is less than pleased after Giles has been turned into a rabbit.
Rating: G
Characters: Giles, Anya, Buffy, Ethan
Disclaimer: They will be mine, oh yes they will, once I've taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha!
Note: Written for the prompt of sword(s) at Giles Shorts but not posted there because it's longer than 100 words.
Note: I was going for humor and ended up with crack!fic.
Right, and you're getting it as a link to my AO3 post because I am NOT going back and adding in the paragraph breaks that stupid LJ insists on removing.
Fic: Nevermore
Oct. 23rd, 2013 08:12 pmTitle: Nevermore
Rating: PG for language
Setting: S6ish
Summary/Prompt: Written for the 2013 Halloween Challenge over at SB Fag Ends. Lacrimosa's The Way of the Shadow: raven's skull
Note: not posted to SB Fag Ends because the raven skull prompt is for a meta only. I was confused about the rules.
Note: I really don't watch the latter seasons that often. Apologies if it doesn't fit in with canon.
“Nevermore. Croaak. Nevermore.” Spike peered in through the window of the Magic Box to see Dawn playing about with a raven's skull. “Nevermore.”
Anya swiped the skull out of Dawn's hands. “Hey!”
Anya shook the skull at Dawn. “This is my stock. Not some toy. Besides, you're supposed to be helping with research, not playing like a little child.”
“I'm not a kid. Xander, tell her I'm not a kid.”
Spike grinned as Xander and Willow stared more closely at their respective texts. He wouldn't have gotten between Anya and the niblet either. “Nevermore,” Dawn croaked again.
Spike slipped into the alley. Nevermore. He'd been wondering when Buffy might take him back. Apparently he'd been given his answer.
Rating: PG for language
Setting: S6ish
Summary/Prompt: Written for the 2013 Halloween Challenge over at SB Fag Ends. Lacrimosa's The Way of the Shadow: raven's skull
Note: not posted to SB Fag Ends because the raven skull prompt is for a meta only. I was confused about the rules.
Note: I really don't watch the latter seasons that often. Apologies if it doesn't fit in with canon.
“Nevermore. Croaak. Nevermore.” Spike peered in through the window of the Magic Box to see Dawn playing about with a raven's skull. “Nevermore.”
Anya swiped the skull out of Dawn's hands. “Hey!”
Anya shook the skull at Dawn. “This is my stock. Not some toy. Besides, you're supposed to be helping with research, not playing like a little child.”
“I'm not a kid. Xander, tell her I'm not a kid.”
Spike grinned as Xander and Willow stared more closely at their respective texts. He wouldn't have gotten between Anya and the niblet either. “Nevermore,” Dawn croaked again.
Spike slipped into the alley. Nevermore. He'd been wondering when Buffy might take him back. Apparently he'd been given his answer.
Fic: It Can't Be Love
Oct. 23rd, 2013 07:55 pmTitle: It Can't Be Love
Rating: PG for language
Setting: S7
Summary/Prompt: Written for the 2013 Halloween Challenge over at SB Fag Ends. Lacrimosa's The Way of the Shadow: deadly nightshade
Buffy read the label on the jar. “Nightshade. Isn't that like a tomato?”
Anya grabbed the jar from Buffy and put it back into her kitchen shelf. Leading Buffy to the mortar and pestle on the counter, Anya said, “Here, use up some of that energy. You can grind up the herbs.” Buffy took a sniff at the herbs, made a face, and started grinding. “And yes, tomatoes are part of the nightshade family, but they're not poisonous.”
Buffy stopped grinding. “Poisonous? This is poisonous?”
“Look,” Anya snapped, “it's not an exact science, alright? The potency of the herb depends on when it was picked and how it was processed. Honestly? It shouldn't even kill a human much less a Slayer, but you never know. If you want something else, go tell your best friends that you're in love with Spike.”
"I'm not in love with Spike. It's a spell. It has to be a spell.”
"Yeah, whatever,” Anya replied with a roll of her eyes. “Because Heaven forfend demons could be loveable, worthy of love, whatever.”
"Anya, I didn't mean … “
"Just don't. Okay. I'll help you do your spell and I won't tell Xander or Willow about your loving Spike, but I don't need your condescension right now.” Buffy shut up and let Anya finish the spell.
After drinking down the potion, Buffy stretched out on the couch. She found herself in a thicket, surrounded by plants, ivy or something, ivy with thorns, hacking her way through. As the thorns cut into her skin, Buffy redoubled her hacking. When she broke through to an open space it was to find Spike sitting on her sofa with his feet on the coffee table but out in the middle of a meadow. He smiled up at her. “Luv.”
Waking up in Anya's apartment was a real letdown. “So, do you love him?” Buffy heard a magazine rattle. “Not that I care.”
Buffy didn't remember much of her vision, just sitting with Spike, arms wrapped around each other, not even kissing, just basking in each others love.
She did love Spike.
Shit.
Rating: PG for language
Setting: S7
Summary/Prompt: Written for the 2013 Halloween Challenge over at SB Fag Ends. Lacrimosa's The Way of the Shadow: deadly nightshade
Buffy read the label on the jar. “Nightshade. Isn't that like a tomato?”
Anya grabbed the jar from Buffy and put it back into her kitchen shelf. Leading Buffy to the mortar and pestle on the counter, Anya said, “Here, use up some of that energy. You can grind up the herbs.” Buffy took a sniff at the herbs, made a face, and started grinding. “And yes, tomatoes are part of the nightshade family, but they're not poisonous.”
Buffy stopped grinding. “Poisonous? This is poisonous?”
“Look,” Anya snapped, “it's not an exact science, alright? The potency of the herb depends on when it was picked and how it was processed. Honestly? It shouldn't even kill a human much less a Slayer, but you never know. If you want something else, go tell your best friends that you're in love with Spike.”
"I'm not in love with Spike. It's a spell. It has to be a spell.”
"Yeah, whatever,” Anya replied with a roll of her eyes. “Because Heaven forfend demons could be loveable, worthy of love, whatever.”
"Anya, I didn't mean … “
"Just don't. Okay. I'll help you do your spell and I won't tell Xander or Willow about your loving Spike, but I don't need your condescension right now.” Buffy shut up and let Anya finish the spell.
After drinking down the potion, Buffy stretched out on the couch. She found herself in a thicket, surrounded by plants, ivy or something, ivy with thorns, hacking her way through. As the thorns cut into her skin, Buffy redoubled her hacking. When she broke through to an open space it was to find Spike sitting on her sofa with his feet on the coffee table but out in the middle of a meadow. He smiled up at her. “Luv.”
Waking up in Anya's apartment was a real letdown. “So, do you love him?” Buffy heard a magazine rattle. “Not that I care.”
Buffy didn't remember much of her vision, just sitting with Spike, arms wrapped around each other, not even kissing, just basking in each others love.
She did love Spike.
Shit.
Fic: Now You're Cooking... With Gas!
Mar. 26th, 2013 10:13 amTitle: Now You're Cooking... With Gas!
Fandom: BtVS
Rating: G
Character: Buffybot, Xander, Willow, Anya, Dawn, Spike (suggested)
Concrit: Please, in Comments
Disclaimer: They aren’t mine, not yet, but they will be… once I’ve taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha!
Word Count: 100
Note: Crackfic
Note: Written for a prompt at Open on Sunday: cook
The vampire poofed into dust. “That'll cook your goose.”
“Uh, what was that?” Xander asked.
Willow shrugged. “I'm trying, okay. At least it got her off the sex talk.”
“Ooooh.” The Buffybot bounced. “Sex with Spike is like cooking with gas, cooking a goose with gas.”
Anya snickered. “I'll say.”
“Huh?” Dawn asked.
“Well look at him,” Anya added. “Spike is hot. Sex with hot guys is like cooking with gas, but Spike is definitely trouble, so your goose would also get cooked.”
Xander pulled at Anya's arm. “You've thought about what sex with Spike would be like?”
“You haven't?”
Fandom: BtVS
Rating: G
Character: Buffybot, Xander, Willow, Anya, Dawn, Spike (suggested)
Concrit: Please, in Comments
Disclaimer: They aren’t mine, not yet, but they will be… once I’ve taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha!
Word Count: 100
Note: Crackfic
Note: Written for a prompt at Open on Sunday: cook
The vampire poofed into dust. “That'll cook your goose.”
“Uh, what was that?” Xander asked.
Willow shrugged. “I'm trying, okay. At least it got her off the sex talk.”
“Ooooh.” The Buffybot bounced. “Sex with Spike is like cooking with gas, cooking a goose with gas.”
Anya snickered. “I'll say.”
“Huh?” Dawn asked.
“Well look at him,” Anya added. “Spike is hot. Sex with hot guys is like cooking with gas, but Spike is definitely trouble, so your goose would also get cooked.”
Xander pulled at Anya's arm. “You've thought about what sex with Spike would be like?”
“You haven't?”
