Why is he like this?

My sister Jackie and my Dad haven’t spoken in over a decade. I wasn’t there so I only have the details from the two of them. There are some things consistent across both stories. According to Dad, Logan, Jackie’s son, was frustrated and easily upset. I think Logan’s slightly autistic. Jackie definitely had told me something and she hadn’t shared it with Dad. That’s because Dad’s all “let me insist you fix this my way” with a lot of things.

 

So Logan was with Dad and got upset. Jackie stormed out of the house. Dad went to her and said “I think I should leave.” Jackie agreed. They haven’t spoken since. That they both agree on. According to Dad, Aunt Bonnie said Jackie has been giving him the cold-shoulder since high-school. He thinks she treated her husband the same way she does him. I’m not really clear on what he meant by that and it’s nothing I’d ever noticed. Scapegoating people runs rather rampant in my family.

 

Jackie’s husband died last Thursday. I told Dad. I’d expected he’d hear it through the grapevine but apparently no one’s told him anything about Jackie’s life since this all went down over a decade ago. I figured if he heard it later and not from me he’d feel resentful and I’d have to deal with that. Instead this brought up all those old emotions for him. He told me he’s planning to send cards. More than one. My best guess is that he’s sending cards to the kids but deliberately not sending a card to Jackie. As if grieving for her husband isn’t awful enough.

 

I wish I hadn’t said anything. And I wish he wasn’t like this.