Fic: Shanshu 46 - Could It Be Magic

[dragonyphoenix]

Title: Could It Be Magic
Fandom: BtVS
Prompt: 476 - Siddha
Rating: PG
Summary: Another chapter for Shanshu
Word Count: 1271
Note: Since Angel's getting what he wants, I took the title from Barry Manilow. How do you think Buffy will react when Angel wants to see Manilow's show on their Vegas honeymoon?

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Spike could remember loving Buffy, but he couldn't quite work out why he'd loved her. Looking back, it seemed like an addiction, loving the worst thing for him. Dru had been like that too, not good for him. First off in the killing and turning and then by invoking his jealousy with her Daddy issues. Millay hadn't been bad for him. He'd loved her. They'd had passion with no dysfunction. Maybe that was a human trick, loving well. Maybe he'd forget how to love wisely, if he survived the spell.

He took a sip of hot chocolate and lost himself in the taste. It wasn't as good as Joyce's, but it might be his last cup. Just as Spike was about to drink again, Andrew bustled into the office with three large bags. After Willow had banished Spike from the ritual room, with some malarkey about him making her nervous, he'd had ended up in Andrew's office with Andrew, Buffy, and Angel. Sending Andrew off for food had seemed like a stroke of genius, if he did say so himself, but now that the smell of blooming onions hit him, the food reminded him, disturbingly, of a last meal.

“So Spike.” He looked up to see Andrew staring at him adoringly. Oh, right. Brilliant. “What do you think it'll feel like to be free of all karmic restrictions?”

“What are you blathering on about?”

“Once you're a Siddha …” Andrew began.

“A what?”

“A Siddha. It means …”

“I bloody well know what it means. What I don't know is how you think it applies to me.”

“Well, once you give the Shanshu to Angel …” Buffy glanced up at that but apparently thought Andrew wasn't worth paying attention to because she turned back to her ever loving Angel.

“I'll be a vampire,” Spike replied. “Not known for enlightenment. Look at Angel over there, knee deep in karmic connections and looking to make more.”

Buffy glanced back over and stuck out her tongue. “Just for that we're not naming any of them after you.”

“Hey!” Spike sat up straighter in his chair. “What's wrong with William? It's a good name. In fact, you should feel honored to use it considering I'm the reason you'll soon be able to even have kidlets.”

“But.” Andrew, apparently, was still on his role. “Your deed, so noble, so pure, giving up humanity to save the world. Surely there'll be some reward.”

“I've given up my whole life before.”

“And you Shanshued because of it.”

“Andrew, I'm becoming a vampire.” If I don't die. “You've seen 'em. You know what they're like. Drowning in karma, in their passions, anger, vendettas.”

Andrew, looking more hurt than convinced, started in again. “But …”

The door opened to one of Willow's witchy Slayer apprentices. “It's time.”

“Oh, uh, right,” Andrew said. “Thank you Diana.”

The ritual room was full of candles, of course. They seemed to be such an integral part of any spell he'd ever seen that Spike wasn't sure you could even perform a working ritual without them. Someone had gotten enough incense burning that the room smelled like church. In the center of the space, they'd laid out a large circle, half of it edged with green sand and half with red sand. Life and death, Spike guessed.

As Buffy and Andrew followed them into the room, Willow spoke. “It'd be better if we were alone.” Willow merely nodded when Buffy said she wasn't leaving. Well, and yeah, Willow had to have expected that response. “Andrew? Out.”

“But …”

“Out.”

Diana closed the door, leaving Willow, Angel and Buffy, three witchy Slayers, and Spike himself in the ritual space. Willow directed Spike to sit in the green half of the circle and Angel in the red. As soon as they were settled, Willow started into the ritual. “As life grows in death, so does death give way to life.”

The words Willow chanted were not the original words of the spell. Willow had been so adamant that they modify the spell to protect Spike that she, Wesley, Andrew, and assorted Slayers had spent the better part of the day modifying the language, arguing whether to use death or undeath, life or Shanshu and even whether they should refer to the demonic force that animated a vampire. Spike had stayed to watch. It had been rather nice, seeing one of Buffy's crew standing up for him. For the most part, they'd never cared enough to go out of their way like that, not for him anyway. Willow's insistence had reminded Spike of the friends he'd made as a human: Charlie who'd first taken him in, Millay who'd seen something worth loving, Morgan who'd … okay, Morgan was rather a waste of space, but Joan and her skater pals had gotten him past the security in the Marriott that one time, and Ash had even sacrificed herself for him, or to save the world, or something. Spike figured he was about to go Ash's way but if he didn't, he'd try to live up to his friends' faith in him.

“The seed of life lives in death, and the seed of undeath lives in the Shanshu.” Willow's three assistants circled around with censors, spreading the church smell throughout the room. The chanting went on for so long that Spike figured he'd have grown bored if this one spell wasn't about to change everything. “Heed my will. So mote it be.”

Spike felt the life drain out of himself in one drawn out exhale. Angel gasped for breath. Spike could hear Andrew out in the hallway saying it would all work out and that he was sure it was fine that the ritual was taking so long. The green of Willow's gown shifted into a richness of color that Spike hadn't seen before the fall of Sunnydale.

With a shout of “Angel!” Buffy ran to the edge of the circle. Spike noted that Angel's side was green now and his red. It was odd, seeing Buffy waiting for Willow's approval before barging into the circle. The girl had certainly matured over the years. “Are you okay?”

Spike rose as Buffy helped Angel to his feet. The git drew Buffy into a drawn-out, dramatic kiss.

“Thank you, Willow.” Spike called out loudly, making sure his words carried. “Thank you for protecting the world by giving Angel my humanity.”

Buffy and Angel broke from their kiss. Buffy's glare at the interruption could have peeled tar from a roof, but Angel looked abashed. “Uh, yeah,” he said. “Thank you. And Spike, you don't know what this means to me.”

“Think nothing of it,” Spike replied, figuring Angel would never think on it again.

As they all swept out into the hallway, Andrew actually pulled Angel into a hug. It was sort of funny, watching Angel trying to work out how to hug the geek back, but Spike didn't want to stick around to confirm that he himself wasn't hug worthy. He found a bench, out under what could be seen of the stars, and sat staring up into the night sky as he listened to Slayers gossip, train, and fight.

This had been his life once, helping the Slayer and her cohorts, but Buffy had always mattered more to him than he did to her. Since Sunnydale, during he'd been human, he'd had real friends, people who'd been there when he'd had nothing and been no one. He couldn't go back to being a hanger-on, tolerated as useful but not valued as a friend.

Spike rose and turned his back on the Slayer's academy. Time to move on.

Comments

[velvetwhip.livejournal.com]

I feel so badly for poor Spike. Willow needs to comfort him - lots.


Gabrielle

[rahirah]

Angel's really kind of punchable, and he hasn't even done anything...

[rbfvid.livejournal.com]

"Time to move on" - heee, because Spike was always so good at it =)