dragonyphoenix

Hogwarts School
84, Charing Cross Road
London, W.C. 2

15 May 2001

Miss Anya Jenkins
The Magic Box
742 Maple Court
Sunnydale, CA 93063

Miss Jenkins,

Your Mr. Giles is not entirely incorrect. Even at Hogwarts there is a concern that the knowledge we teach may be used in an unethical manner. However that does not mean all knowledge should be kept under lock and key. If that were the case, Muggles would still be throwing stones at each other. I recommend you limit your instruction to harmless magic. Amber Martin's book, a piece of claptrap known as The Witches Book of Spells, should be both safe for Muggles and also idiotic enough to keep them amused.

As for your Muggle customer, anyone that ignorant should not be practicing magic. Tell her to combine one-quarter of an ounce of Scurvy Grass, one-sixth of an ounce of Lovage, and one-eighth of an ounce of Sneezewort in four ounces of water. Have her stir counterclockwise three times. That should prevent her from ever again attempting magic.

Professor Snape

* * *

The Magic Box
742 Maple Court
Sunnydale, CA 93063

26 May 2001

Professor Severus Snape
Defense Against the Dark Arts
Hogwarts School
84, Charing Cross Road
London, W.C. 2

Professor Snape,

What were you thinking? If that spell had my customer away from magic, she'd never come back and she'd never spend more money here. That's the exact opposite of what I want. There is no way I'm giving her that spell.

Everything here is both good and bad. We saved the world, good, but it took Buffy's death, bad. Xander proposed, which should be good, but he says we can't tell anyone yet, and I don't understand why. That's happy news. It should cheer people up, but he says no.

If I'd given it any thought, I'd have imagined that post-engagement sex would be extra-wonderful, just like end-of-the-world sex except possibly even more so, but Xander proposed just around the time that Buffy died and we've been so sad that even sex isn't as fun as it should be.

And it's not fair. Joyce died just last February. We haven't had even a year's worth of mourning and now Buffy's dead too. After someone has died, you should get at least a couple of years, maybe three or four, before anyone else is allowed to die.

Anya Jenkins,
Customer Relations

Oh, I almost forgot. Do you know how to find an Urn of Osiris?

* * *

7 June 2001

Miss Anya Jenkins,

Please forgive the owl. My situation has changed. I can no longer be contacted at Hogwarts. In fact, they are unlikely to forward my messages.

Forward the Horklump Juice, Wormwood, and Chizpurfle Carapace – once they have reached the specified potencies – to Hogwarts. The remainder of the items I have requested, particularly the Belladonna and the Mugwort, must be returned to me via owl.

While I do understand that you dislike the creatures, it is currently impractical for me to receive any items via Muggle Mail. Therefore I am giving the owl, Hesperos, to you to expatiate the arrival of my packages.

Severus Snape

* * *

What's wrong?

Anya

* * *

9 June 2001

Miss Anya Jenkins,

Please do not send the owl to me unless you are fulfilling an order. Multiple trips needlessly exhaust them.

Severus Snape

* * *

7 July 2001

Professor Snape,

Here's the Deadlyius you ordered. You can't pretend nothing's wrong and expect me to go along with it. I've been watching the news. The death rate in London is almost as bad as on the Hellmouth, and I see that the Headmaster of Hogwarts has died. If you need a safe-house, well, we can work something out. Xander's old basement apartment is still available.

Anya Jenkins

* * *

8 July 2001

You misunderstand my situation. While it is true that Professor Dumbledore has died, I expect to have returned to Hogwarts by the start of the school year. Your interference is both ill-advised and unnecessary.

However, once I have returned to Hogwarts, it would be more convenient for me if we continued to communicate via owl rather than by your inefficient Muggle mail.

Severus Snape

* * *

9 July 2001

Professor Snape,

Communicate by owl? You're hiding me, aren't you? Are you ashamed of getting your supplies from a Muggle shop? I'll have you know that The Magic Box is the equal to any magic shop you've got going in England. And I've never hidden from anything. Well, there was that one apocalypse that I ran from, but since then I've never run and I've never hidden. And of course there was that time in the Winnebago, but the less said about that, the better.

Anya Jenkins

* * *

10 July 2001

You bloody idiot!

Don't you know that owls can be tracked? How many times do I have to tell you? Don't send Hesperos to me unless he's delivering a package. Too many trips back and forth could draw unwonted attention to your shop.

Severus Snape

* * *

11 July 2001

I am not an idiot and you don't have to protect me. I live on a Hellmouth. Do you really think I can't take care of myself, you misogynistic, patronizing, annoying guy?

* * *

11 July 2001

Please, for the sake of my heart, never again send a message via demon, especially a female demon. I have the most disturbing feeling she's flirting with me.

Your living on a Hellmouth is all the more reason to avoid drawing attention. You're in enough danger already.

Severus Snape

* * *

12 July 2001

Severus Snape,

Fine, no demons, but you can't complain when I send the owl. And I'm sorry about Hallie. She can come on a bit strong, but that's considered a good thing in a demon. And, hey, what's wrong with a little demonic flirting? You think demons don't need love? It's supposed to be all blood, torture, and viscera and nothing more?

Anya Jenkins

* * *

13 July 2001

Miss Anya Jenkins,

I am returning Hesperos because I'm afraid you will write via Muggle mail without him but, please, given the danger of the wizarding war, it is imperative that you minimize contact.

Please. I have few enough contacts whom I trust as it is. It would damage me more than you can know if you came to harm.

Severus Snape

* * *

5 September 2001

Headmaster Snape,

Never pull that “it would hurt me so much if you were hurt” crap on me again. Don't you think I feel the same way?

And before you get upset over the owl, don't. It's delivering the Belladonna you requested. The herb has been absorbing Hellmouth energies for 154 days, 7 hours, and 15 minutes which is well within the range of 153 to 155 days that you requested.

I see that you are Headmaster of Hogwarts now. This means you could make The Magic Box your official school supplier. It's not as if the mailing time is a problem. Owls are darn quick. And maybe if Giles thought I'd brought in a big customer, he'd finally leave for England like he keeps promising.

It's just all so annoying. He keeps not leaving. When – if – he does finally leave, I'll get to be in charge here. You have no idea how frustrating it is to want something and have it be just out of reach. And nobody else seems to think it's wrong for Giles to keep teasing me like this. Xander keeps telling me to be patient, but then again he's still Mr. Let's Keep the Engagement to Ourselves, Honey! This isn't fair and nobody's on my side. Heck, Xander's friends don't even know there's a side to be on since he's refused to tell them we're engaged.

Anya Jenkins

* * *

8 September 2001

Never think I don't understand your anguish. Ever since I've been a child, I have loved only one woman; she married another. For fifteen years, I'd aspired to a post I was denied, only to watch incompetents and fools take it over. I understand unfulfilled desires.

In that he does not recognize a treasure when he holds it in his hands, your Xander is a witless idiot.

I have recently run across an Urn of Osiris in Borgin and Burkes. I'm afraid I cannot purchase it for you. Any interest in resurrection is considered highly suspicious by the current administration. As Borgin and Burkes would not respond well to a Muggle, perhaps you could locate an intermediary to purchase it for you?

Snape

* * *

30 October 2001

Headmaster Snape,

Fine, I kept the owl here and haven't sent you any messages. Happy now? Just so you know, I feel like I'm in high-school selling drugs to young adults. These items I'm sending you aren't illegal in England, are they? That would explain so much. Anyway, your Mugwort has finished charging so apparently I'm allowed to write you.

I'm sorry to hear about that woman who wouldn't marry you. I don't know what I would do if Xander married someone else. I think I'd feel as if the world was crumbling beneath my feet, which is a feeling I am familiar with, but not in a literal sense. It's just that I did one thing almost my whole life and then poof! It was just gone, taken away from me. I felt lost. I had no purpose. I'd never felt so alone. Sometimes I think I've allowed Xanders's purpose to become my own. No, not Xander's purpose. It's more his friend's purpose except it is Xander's also because he's taken on her purpose.

The friend has been incredibly bitchy since she came back. She's having all kinds of financial difficulties and I suggested a way that she might make money. Her response? “That's an idea that you would have.” And, okay, it doesn't sound that terrible as I'm writing it out, but the way she said it made it sound like a bad idea, which it wasn't. I do not understand people sometimes. It's as if she wants to work at a subsistence-level job rather than make money for something she's already doing.

Speaking of jobs, I would love to tell you that Giles has finally left and that the shop is mine, but I can't. He came back. I know he's plotting to take the shop away from me. He says he's not and of course Xander is siding with him, saying that Giles doesn't want the shop back, but this place is a real money-maker and Giles is used to being in charge and coming up with ideas on how the place should be run, and I'm sure he never liked any of the ideas I came up with so of course he's going to try and take it back, and it's like Xander doesn't even want to understand that. Sometimes, even with Xander, I still feel all alone.

Anya Jenkins

* * *

31 October 2001

Anya Jenkins,

Thank you for completing my order with the Belladonna and the Mugwort. I knew I could trust you to handle it properly. I also appreciate your complying with my request to limit Hesperos' trips to Hogwarts. I do not lie when I say that I need certain people to trust me and that our communicating would look suspicious. Do believe, however, that I wish we could write more often.

I have a request to make of you. As you may suspect, my tenure as Headmaster is not all I could wish for. I would prefer you not use that salutation. Since we seem to be communicating in a manner beyond that of a normal business relationship, I would like, that is I hope I can consider you a friend. If you feel the same, I would be honored if you would refer to me as Severus.

Severus Snape

* * *

1 November 2001

Severus,

I know you don't like Hallie but you don't want me to send Hesperos and I had to share my happy news. I had the most astounding day. Not only did my friends, my local friends that is, help me make heaps of money, but Xander, out of the blue, stood up and announced our engagement, and on top of all that, you've realized we are friends, which is great although kind of obvious. I've considered us friends for months now. Honestly, my life could not possibly get better, well, except for Hallie. She doesn't believe Xander is an appropriate fiance, and when I try to explain, she garbles my words and twists my meanings. Perhaps you could talk to her for me?

Do you think you could make the wedding? We haven't set a date but are thinking late February or early March. I know it's a long way to travel, but can't you wizards just pop over? If not, I can ask Hallie to pick you up. She's going to be one of my bridesmaids. My other bridesmaids are all Xander's friends. I mean, they are my friends too, but he's known them longer. I want someone who's happy for me – more happy for me than for Xander – and who doesn't actively dislike Xander.

Anya

* * *

1 November 2001

Anya,

I am happy for you, but I'm afraid I can't leave the school. Isn't there anyone who knows this Xander but isn't as close to him as your bridesmaids are?

Severus

* * *

14 November 2001

Severus,

I know I shouldn't owl, but everything has gotten so difficult here. Vampires crashed thorugh the store window and destroyed much of my merchandise. I'm hoping the insurance will cover it, but you would not believe what they consider Acts of God in Sunndale. And you know what? Acts of God are the exact reason we have insurance. I can stop a human who wants to damage my store. I want to move the store away from Sunnydale, leaving this shop as an annex so that I can still sell Hellmouth-charged herbs, but Xander has responsibilities here. Basically he won't leave his best friends even though it's dangerous and having the shop in Sunnydale costs me money. Are there rabbits in England?

On top of that, one of Willow's spells removed our memories. We know who we are now, obviously, or I wouldn't be writing you, but while our memories were gone, Xander thought he was dating Willow. I don't know how he could have made such a mistake. He's my fiance. If our love is true, then he shouldn't be thinking about other women even if they are gay and won't marry him. And anyway, it's not my fault that I kissed Giles. Willow performed the spell. It's her fault. And I can't help it if Giles is a better kisser than Xander. Do British men take classes to learn to kiss so well? Because Xander, much as I love him, could use such a class and Giles had ordered me to never mention it again.

I still wish you could come to the wedding, but I have thought of someone I can invite who'd be more on my side than Xander's.

Anya

The Letters, Part 3