Lily Out of Water 5: Falling Petals Carry Moonlight, Part 2

[dragonyphoenix]

Part 1 is here...

---

I walked into the bar; ‘dive’ would have been a better word for it. What do you do with a drunken sailor? Dump him in the alley and abscond with his wallet, it was that kind of a place. I grabbed a barstool and smashed it over a table. The three guys sitting there had a bit of a problem with that. They got up and eight seconds later I had three unconscious men at my feet.

“OK,” I shouted to the bar. “Got your attention now, right? Here’s how it’s going to work.” There was a brute of a guy one table over, as I spoke to the crowd, I walked over to him. “I need information. I’m going to break bones,” I kicked his chair over and he fell to the floor. A couple of flashy kicks broke some of his ribs, “and I’m going to keep breaking bones until one of you tells me what I want to know.”

Some young punk rushed for the back door. It didn’t open. “All the exits are locked except this one,” I said pointing to the door behind me. I flew to the back, grabbed the punk, and dragged him to the front before anyone else could move. I broke one of his fingers and he fell to his knees, screaming. “A woman was kidnapped from the Fox and Badger. Who took her?” No response. I broke two more fingers. I worked through everyone in the bar, fighting when they attacked, and breaking bones when I could. Learned nothing useful so I moved on.

At the fifth bar, a dozen guys attacked me. Killed three of them, as easy as one, two, three before feeding off of the fourth, which dispersed the rest of them. Feeding will terrify even the most vicious human. Useful that. This bar was slightly more upscale than the last four, although that wasn’t saying much. Some idiot had brought his girlfriend, who stuck out like a sore thumb. Good a place to start as any. I stomped down on her foot, lots of breakable bones in a foot. Boyfriend, predictably, attacked. I slammed his face into a wall. There was a group in the back, huddled around their table, talking intensely. Up to something. “Hey, you guys have something for me or are you volunteering to be next?” Two of the punks pushed away from the third, who looked around nervously before standing.

“Umm,” he stammered, “I might have something for you.” Still in vamp-face, I stalked over to him. “Sir,” he added.

“What do you know?”

“My cousin, umm, he might have mentioned something about picking up a woman at the Fox and Badger.”

“Picking up?” I sneered. “How is the Council involved?” He looked around nervously when I mentioned the Council but kept talking. Bingo.

“Look, he likes to brag, to have one up on me, so he tells me things,” he said.

“Where did they take her?” I asked.

“I don’t know.”

I picked up a fork and stabbed it into his friend’s cheek. “Then take me to your cousin.” As we left, I signaled to some vamps for hire, waiting in the shadows, to take care of the rest of the people in the bar. Couldn’t have anyone warning the cousin that we were coming.

After he pointed out his goon of a cousin to me, I snapped the punk’s neck. As I tracked the goon around London, I learned two useful things: he was the boy toy of some old bat and he was a Council enforcer, although not one of their most elite squads. Not nearly as tough a group as I’d expect to be sent after someone with Willow’s power. I was beginning to wonder if she hadn’t gone with them willingly. Angel had said she’d been taken but he’d chosen his words to wound. No. If Willow had gone to the Council voluntarily, they wouldn’t have needed the goons, plus Angel would have loved telling me that Willow had left me, willingly, for the Council.

I followed lover boy and the old bat to an apartment building, the kind of place you’d expect a bored society dame to keep for trysts with her boy toys. Didn’t look like something the Council would have set up. While the Council can be subtle, having one of their goons act out the lover boy role wasn’t quite their style. At least I hoped so. With Willow in danger, I didn’t have time to check out backgrounds but, luckily, I had an ace in the hole, well, in my pocket.

I pulled out the box, inconsequential of itself, and opened it up; an r’nathian star, used by Sustiri demons to travel between dimensions. Story is, a Slayer took the star off of a pack of Sustiri, killing some, but the rest scattered, managed to survive, and were trapped in this dimension, unable to get back to home, sweet, home. I’d nicked it in the Council library, distracting Angel, whose stupidity shone through that night when he believed me, with an Orb of Thessela. Thought Willow had pegged me when she caught me patting my pocket as soon as Angel was out of sight but I’d made a big production of looking for my cigarettes and the show seemed to have satisfied her.

I climbed up the fire escape. Huh, lover boy worked fast or maybe I should say the old bat worked fast since she seemed to like it on top. Their fucking looked almost mechanical but it would keep them busy while I called for help – I needed to know they were telling me the truth and wasn't certain mere violence would be enough this time. I opened the box and the Sustiri demons shimmered into view, only three of them, which was fewer than I’d expected but enough for my purposes. The Sustiri could pass for human by hiding the stinging tentacles that allows them to selectively paralyze their prey: means the prey can’t move to escape but the Sustiri get to enjoy hearing their screams. Useful that. They also sting out venom that forces humans to tell the truth. I don’t know what it does back in their dimension since, as far as I know, their dimension doesn't have any humans, other than those they bring back with them.

“Want this?” I asked, holding up the r’nathian star.

“Yess,” one of them, call him the leader, hissed in response.

“Here’s the deal. Do what I want and you get it. See that couple? I need to have a quiet conversation with them, most likely with the man but the woman might also know something. When I’m done with the couple, you get the r’nathian star, I’ll throw in the couple as well but I stay here, safe and sound. I want you to paralyze them, inject him with your truth venom to start with, and we’ll go from there. Oh, I’ll need the woman to invite me in so inject her as well. Deal?”

Never figured out how the Sustiri managed to hiss out a word like “deal” but they did and fortunately, unlike some, well most, demons, they didn't go back on their word.

“Come in,” I heard the old bat say. The Sustiri had tentacles down the throats of the couple, not killing them, just half-choking them, keeping them quiet. They were both terrified but not nearly as terrified as they should have been, obviously they didn’t recognize the Sustiri.

“He truth venomed up?” I asked.

“Yess,” the demon hissed as it removed tentacles from lover boy’s mouth.

“No screaming now,” I said. In his venomed state, lover boy wouldn’t be able to scream now that I’d told him not to. “You scream and the bird gets it.”

“Like I care what happens to her.” Lover boy not so lover like, what a surprise. The Sustiri must have loosened the tentacle on the woman since she started whimpering at lover boy’s words.

“She Council?” I asked.

“Her? No.”

I explained I was looking for a woman taken from the Fox and Badger and saw recognition in his eyes. I pointed to the old bat and asked, “She know anything about it?”

“Nothing,” he replied. “She knows nothing you want to know. She knows every horse race back for the past two centuries. She knows the best people. She knows enough to be boring as Hell but not...”

“Enough,” I commanded. I looked back at the Sustiri holding the old bat down and said, “I don’t need her anymore.” The Sustiri shifted its tentacles and she started screaming, not loudly through the gag of tentacles, but it sounded like the Halleluiah chorus from where I was standing. Lover boy didn’t seem to appreciate it as much as I did. No matter, he’d sound like a choir of bloody cherubim when he told me how to find Willow.

“Angel,” I started but lover boy got all twitchy so I stopped until I realized why. Frightened of Angel, was he? I decided I could use that to my advantage. “Didn’t know you were dealing with William the Bloody, did you?” He became very still and shook his head. “Angel always said the Sustiri are masters of pain and he should know, he’s a connoisseur. The most exquisite pain you’ll feel in your life and they can sustain it for decades. It will be the last thing you ever feel, the only thing you’ll ever feel after I’m done with you.” I looked back at the woman whose innards were pushing their way out through her skin. Not a drop of blood marred the bedding. Efficient that and effective, the longer it took for the Council to figure out what had happened, the more time I had. I turned on a light so lover boy could see. His response, the scent and sight of his terror, was everything I’d hoped for and more than I’d expected given my earlier command to keep him quiet. As a tentacle cut off his screams, I reinforced my commands.

Curious, I asked one of the Sustiri, “How long can you keep lover boy here alive?”

“Twenty-seven years, five months, sixteen days, nineteen hours, and eight minutes. Approximately,” it hissed.

“Approximately? That’s pretty exact,” I replied.

“We know exactly what we’re going to do to it.”

“Well, don’t want to keep you from your fun,” I said, turning back to lover boy. “No screaming. Who took Willow?”

“The Council,” he replied.

“Know it was the bloody Council. Give me a complete answer. Who took Willow and why?”

“Wesley Wyndam-Price. I don’t know any of the details but he grabbed her to keep Travers’ faction from killing the witch.”

“Killing?” I panicked. “Why'd the Council want her dead?”

“They still do, all four of you, for your actions at the Perry library. She was just the first to become vulnerable,” he replied.

“Why did this windbag-Price.”

“Wyndam-Price,” he interrupted.

“Whatever. Why did he save her?” I finished.

“Infighting in the highest levels of the Council, that’s all I know,” he replied.

“Where’s Willow?”

“I don’t know,” he answered.

“Who would?” I asked.

“Mr. Wyndam-Price; probably very few others if he’s going to keep her safe from Travers’ cronies.”

“So,” I found my final question, “where can I find this Wesley Wyndam-Price?” When lover boy had finished telling me everything he knew, I handed the r’nathian star over to the Sustiri. Judging by lover boy’s muted screams, they'd started torturing him on their way home however they kept the screaming couple gagged so as not to disturb the neighbors. A pleasure to do business with, are the Sustiri.

To delay and confuse the Council, I picked up any personal belongings the couple would have taken with them and sank them in the river. Clearing my mind with a smoke, I considered my next move – I didn’t know what the Council wanted with Willow or how long she’d be safe, or remain alive, in their not so tender care. Time to find this Wesley Wyndam-Price.

---

Mr. Wyndam-Price insisted on teaching me darts while we talked. “Look,” he said, “we won’t play for points, just toss the darts at the board. It will relax you.” Relax me? I thought. Not while I’m thinking about that game Spike and Angel played. I threw a dart towards the board. It hit the floor. “You were holding it too tightly. Here, more like this,” he said as he handed me a dart and then carefully arranged my fingers around it. “Instead of throwing with your whole arm, flick your wrist, like so.” I copied his motion and actually hit the board. Perhaps this game isn’t as terrible as I’d thought it would be.

After we’d each thrown a couple of rounds, he apparently decided it was time to get down to business and asked, “Have you thought about aligning yourself with the Council?”

“The same Council that’s trying to kill me?” I replied. My dart hit the wall and my mind wandered to the sounds of shattering glass and a cat’s scream. I couldn’t keep a smile off my lips.

“Young Frankenstein?” he asked. I must have looked as astonished as I felt because he added, “It’s what I thought of the first time my dart missed the board and no not with the Council that’s trying to kill you. I’m inviting you to align yourself with my faction.”

Who only drugged and kidnapped me. Angelus kidnapped me and for all I know, you’re no better than Angelus. Except. Look at Giles. And Paul. If I could choose them as allies, I would. All right, I’ll hear you out. Let’s see how honest you really are. “Does the Council usually recruit witches?”

“Historically, no. While magical potential does tend to run in Council families, those with real power were not allowed into the Council. Traditional thought was that magical power would corrupt our noble purpose.” He shot off dart, hitting a bull’s eye.

Can’t say I’m pleased to hear that. “So magic is the only type of power that corrupts?” I asked as he threw another dart, which landed close to the first one.

He must have heard something in the tone of my voice because he turned towards me before replying. “As I said, Council members have traditionally thought that way. Unfortunately, they've managed to ignore the corruption that's crept in elsewhere, as in the treatment of Slayers.”

“But Giles always treated Buffy with respect,” I replied.“Giles was something of a renegade and you were... you... left before the Cruciamentum.”

“The what?” I asked.

“Something I’m trying to get rid of. What the Council does, the things I saw when I was a Watcher...” He stopped, sighed, and turned back to the dartboard. “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I’m getting rather carried away on a tangent.”

As he was lining up his throw, I asked, “You were a Watcher?”

His dart hit the board, barely, but his voice was calm when he replied. “For Faith Lehane. She replaced Kendra, whom I believe you’ve met. Which is another reason I’d like to recruit you. Three of the last four Slayers were American; in addition to recruiting magic users, I want to increase our presence in the States.”

As he picked the darts off the board, I realized he’d been using this game to assess my emotional state and more importantly that he’d just given his own away. Whatever had happened while he was a Watcher must have had a profound effect on him, that or he was playing a much subtler game than I’d given him credit for. I’d discounted him. I’d thought that his aunt was subtle and dangerous but they both were.

I decided to push him a bit. As he handed me that darts, I said, “It seems like you’re taking on quite a lot. Reforming the Council. Protecting the Slayers. Bringing in magic users.”

He started pacing the room. “It’s all the same problem. I can’t pick out one thread and say that I’ll work on this and only this because it all ties together. Take the idea that the Slayers need more support. What kind? Traditionally they’ve been assigned one Watcher, a scholar. When I was in the field we worked with a coven, whose support was invaluable, and Faith had training, the kind of training Slayers haven’t had for centuries. I want all Slayers to have that but what will it take? Reforming the Council. Brining magic users into the Council. Basically, the fight of my life,” he finished with a wry grin.

“You’d have witches working with Slayers? You wouldn’t assign me to a Slayer?” I don’t think I could stand meeting Buffy’s replacement.

“We wouldn’t ask you to undergo Watcher training. I think you could, however, protect a small Hellmouth,” he replied.

“Lady Marjorie insists I need magical training. Apparently my studies have been too haphazard. She expects to be training me in fundamentals for the next few years.” My voice sounded terribly tentative, even to my ears. I’m supposed to be this big deal, super powerful witch that everybody wants but I have to go back to the basic?

“Aunt Marjorie has filled me in on your training. You’ll finish the fundamentals more quickly than you expect, although she does have more she wants you to study here in Devonshire. I can use that time to get you accepted by the Council and bring you to London for occasional visits so you can start making contacts. Once you’re set up on a Hellmouth, I’d like to intern potential Watchers with you. Our current training regime is inadequate and your experience would be invaluable. You’d be working with my colleague, Aidan Taylor, who has quite a number of strong opinions on the subject of Watcher training.”

“I need some time to think it over. If you don’t mind, I’d like to walk in the garden,” I said.

“Of course, I’ll clean up here and then go back to the house,” he replied. I handed the darts back to him and headed out to the garden.

I thought about Buffy and all the good she’d done for me, for Sunnydale, for the world. I thought about Paul and the great pride he’d taken in the lives he’d saved. He’d wanted me to come to the Council and I wished he were here to see it. I thought about Giles. Lady Marjorie had said he’d thought of me as a protégé. If he’d lived, would he have recommended me to the Council? I thought about how aimless and fruitless my life had become after I’d left Spike. I’d had a dream, a vision, a purpose but no way to fulfill it.

I can’t help but like and trust Lady Marjorie but she and her nephew have their own agenda. I wish I had someone to advise me. Giles would know whom I could, and couldn’t, trust. Or even Paul, while I knew him less than a day, I really believe he had my best interests at heart.

The wind picked up out of nowhere and blew away some overhanging flowers. I saw a snake. It looked familiar but the colors were wrong, they should be more vibrant and the eyes should have glowed like flame, and then I realized what I was seeing. It was coiled up in the same pattern as the snake, the protective statue, the one Paul had pointed out, in the library. If I remembered correctly, the guardian snake provided protection against both enemies and deception. I watched as its tongue flickered in and out and something inside me shifted. The snake sped away into the undergrowth.

I found him in the library, perusing one of his aunt's more interesting books on magic. “Mr. Wyndam-Price?”

Looking up from his book, he smiled and said, “I don’t get much of a chance to read this kind of thing anymore. I rather miss it. You have an answer for me?”

I took a deep breath to calm myself and replied, “Yes, I will join the Council.”

His smile widened and he shook my hand. “Wonderful. I’ll send Aidan around to meet you. I’m certain Aunt Marjorie will be quite happy to host him here, as he’s an expert on some extremely esoteric subjects. Oh, and Miss Rosenberg?” He suddenly sounded serious.

“Yes?”

“Please, call me Wesley,” he smiled and I realized he’d been teasing me with the serious tone. “I’ve never understood why but Wyndam-Price sounds like such an awkward mouthful tripping off of American tongues.”

---

I found the Watcher’s place, which was in a fairly posh neighborhood considering it was probably on the Council’s tab. Looked like generic quarters from the outside but that’s about what I’d expected. There was an enclosed garden off to the side and I headed off there to wait but couldn’t get in. Who the bloody Hell puts a vampire-keep-away spell on a garden? I scanned the area but this was the only good place to lurk. About that time a cycle came down the street and pulled up alongside me. The driver took off his helmet, youngish man, dark hair, nothing special.

Always take the initiative to keep control of the situation. “Can I help you, mate?”

He looked me up and down and then said, “Spike, I presume.” So much for controlling the situation, can’t be good, someone knowing my name outside a Watcher’s house.

“Who wants to know?” I asked, trying to look unconcerned.

“Wesley Wyndam-Price. I believe you’re looking for me?” How’d he know I was here? Can’t have tracked me down through lover boy yet. I raised an eyebrow and in response he pointed out a set of cameras policing the street.

Wait. If he knows my name, he must know what I am and still he came looking for me? This just gets better and better. Need to get out of here, with him, before the Council goons show up, if they aren’t in place already. “If you know who I am, you must know why I’m here.”

“I’ll take you to her,” he replied. When I didn’t respond, he added, “You aren’t looking for Miss Rosenberg?”

“You sure you know who I am?” I asked.

“Spike. William the Bloody. One quarter of the Scourge of Europe.”

“Left out that I killed two Slayers,” I said just to see him jump. Didn’t work. “You’re going to take me to Willow, just like that?”

“She wants to see you,” he replied.

Not bloody likely since she’s the one who left me. “And you care so much? You should be on bloody Oprah.”

“I don’t care but I’ve been told this will help her put your relationship behind her. I don’t see why she needs to, really, since she’s the one who did the leaving after all,” he added cruelly. I flashed into vamp face. He didn’t even flinch.

“So where is she?” I asked.


“Hop on,” he replied.

“After you tell me where she is,” I said. He just looked at me. “You’re forgetting who has the power here,” I continued.

“No. I’m not,” he replied. “You can’t find Willow without me therefore, my terms.”

As I sat on the back of the cycle, I had a thought. “You’re not planning to drive me out to the middle of nowhere right about dawn are you? Cause I’ll take ferryman’s fee with me.”

He didn’t react to the threat other than to tell me, “It’s less than four hours away. We’ll be there well before dawn. Put this on,” he held out a helmet to me.

“Not wearing that. It’s not like you could kill me with a cycle.”

“It’s the law,” he replied, “I don’t want to get pulled over and have you leaving a trail of corpses between here and...”

“Here and where, Council lackey?” I asked.

“Wherever it is we’re going.” Bloody bastard smiled, obviously enjoying keeping me in the dark. Just wait. I won’t need you forever.

---

We pulled up to a farm, or what used to be a farm. The farmhouse looked like it had been revamped about two or three decades ago, place probably hadn’t been used as a farm in all that time. Off to one side was an even newer building, a mother-in-law cottage. As we approached the house I saw Willow by the door with a couple of other people: an older woman, obviously in charge even from this distance, and a man, in a butler’s uniform, who carried himself like military.

I tossed off helmet and grabbed Wyndam-Price off the bike. “Here’s how it’s gonna work. I leave with Willow and you get him back.” Willow stepped forward and told me to let him go. “Umm, I’m here to rescue you?”

“I don’t need rescuing,” she said as Wyndam-Price reached up and slapped me on the cheek. It burnt, it burnt like Hell, and I leapt back, letting him go. A cross fell to the ground. As I rushed at Wyndam-Price, he pulled out another cross and Willow stepped between us. I looked over to see that the woman had a spell ready to lob at me and her butler had a crossbow out, probably shot wooden arrows. They’d known I was coming but that was hardly a surprise. I’d known it was a trap before I’d gotten onto the bike, just hadn’t known Willow was in on it.

“So, like this is it?” I asked Willow.

“Spike, we need to talk,” she said. No kidding, Red, I thought. “This way,” she added as she led me to the cottage.

“If you’d gone to the Council willingly, why’d they send goons to pull you out of The Fox and Badger?” I asked, following behind. I kept an eye on the other three who had grouped together by the door of the house.

Ignoring my question, Willow said, “Spike, you’re in danger.”

“Can see that,” I replied. Willow looked around, noticed where I’d been looking, and said, “Not from them.” I raised an eyebrow and she continued with, “Right. They’re dangerous, they definitely don’t want you around, but they’re not the threat I’m worried about. Come in,” she said to invite me into the cottage.

“What?” I asked as I stepped into the Spartan room: a few comfortable chairs, fireplace, and a kitchen off to the back. “The big house too good for this humble vampire? I’m hurt.” Changing my tone, I added, “Someone threatening you? Because, between the two of us, we can break out of this place, take the cycle, and be somewhere safe by sunrise.”

Getting a bit irritable, she said, “I don’t need rescuing. I can leave anytime I want.”

“Tested that, have you?”

“No,” she replied. At my look she continued. “It’s not like that, Spike. None of us are safe.”

“Us?” I asked, hoping she wasn’t including the trio from the farmhouse.

“You. Angel. Drusilla. Me.” ‘Us’ includes Angel? Think I’d rather the trio from the farmhouse.

“Why not then?” I asked as I strolled to the window to check out the farmhouse. Nobody in sight, nobody was watching us, at least as far as I could tell from this window.

“It’s the Council. It was our attack on the library in DC, that and killing Paul. I think it terrified them that we succeeded; the Council thought they were invulnerable.”

“Luv,” I told her, “the bloke I rode in with is Council and pretty high up as far as I can tell.”

“There are factions in the Council. Wesley wants an alliance,” she replied.

Wesley? “With us?” I asked.

“With me,” she replied. Makes a bit more sense but still don’t get why a Council lackey would work with a witch who’s been living with vampires. Power hungry? Willow’s got some serious mojo and he might think he could use that for his own gain.

“You trust him then?”

“No, I don’t trust him but he’ll take his aunt’s advice. She and I have had several long talks. I trust her, as much as I trust anybody these days.” I turned back from the window to face Willow, thinking more than you trust me, you mean.

“And they want you because?” I asked.

“Because I’m a powerful witch! Why else does anybody want me?” she raged.

“It’s not why I want you,” I replied.

“It was, once,” she said.

“Nope, never. Angel wanted you for your power.” I said as I walked towards her. “I helped because, well because I wanted Dru. But you,” I took her hand, “won me over. I want you because I love you, plain and simple.” I thought Willow would be pleased by my declaration but she turned her head away from me. “You’re not leaving with me, are you?” I asked as I let go of her hand.

“No. I wanted to warn you about Council so you’d keep yourself safe. You could return to Angel, warn him. The three of you should...”

“Angel said he’d kill me the next time he saw me so I don’t think I’ll be giving him any warnings,” I snarled. Willow took it calmly. Got to say this for living with vampires for years, it inures you to violence. I can recall when that kind of statement would have had Willow in tears. I changed my tactics, wanting some emotion out of her, some indication that she once loved me. “So, I’m nothing to you now, is that it? You’ve got a more powerful protector so I’m just gonna be tossed by the wayside. You shagging him yet?”

Willow looked at me as if I’d disappointed her and I realized that Wyndam-Price had nothing to do with this, the House of the Catmaster, that’s what it went back to. She’d changed there, more than I’d realized. “Sorry,” I mumbled, not sure what to say next, not knowing how to convince this new Willow. She didn’t need the apology, the new Willow could see right through me and understood why I’d attacked her.

“I can do good here, Spike. Like I used to before...” she turned her head away, “like I did back in Sunnydale.”

“You can destroy undead monsters like me again, you mean.” She didn’t reply. I lit up a cigarette and took a few puffs. “So, you’re not replacing me so much as you’re replacing the Slayer.” She looked like I’d punched her in the gut. I stepped to the door, looked out at the stars. “Answer me one question. Do you love me?”

“Yes. But Spike, I...”

“Shh, pet. I’m thinking,” I interrupted.

For four or five cigarettes, I stood there. Willow eventually puttered back to the kitchen to make some tea. I thought about Dru. I thought about Willow. I thought about my feelings... and their feelings. I thought about how clear the stars looked out here in the middle of nowhere. I thought about everything I’d done as a vampire: fighting, mutilating, torturing, killing, and how that would look to a human. I thought about how my smoke momentarily obscured the stars. I thought about Willow’s strength, how she could go on without me even if it ripped her heart out. I thought about how weak I was in comparison. I thought about change. I thought about Angel, with and without his soul. I tossed my cigarette down, ground it into the dirt, stepped back inside, and sat down across from Willow. May as well get comfortable for the fight, I thought and said, “Give me my human soul back.”

“What?” she startled. Didn’t see that coming, did you? I thought.

“My human soul, witch it back,” I replied as if it were an everyday request and then added, “Of course, you might want to leave out the ‘we shag and I lose my human soul again’ clause.”

“Spike, those magics are lost. Nobody knows that spell anymore.”

“Only mediocre witches need spells, Willow. You’re past that. You have enough power to perform magic without spells. I’ve seen you do it. All you need is power, will, and desire,” I replied. Willow looked dumbfounded, as if she’d never realized that about herself. I gave her some time to take it in.

“I can’t,” she replied.

“Trust me on this one, Red, you’ve got more than enough power to do this.”

“No, I mean... maybe you're right, maybe I can do this.” I started to object but Willow held up a hand. “For argument's sake, let's say you are right. Even if I could give you your soul back, I wouldn't. You wouldn’t be, well, you wouldn’t be you anymore,” she said. I still wouldn’t be human enough for you, is that what you mean?

“Sort of the point. You’ve gone back to the ‘good guys’ and I use the term loosely in reference to the Council. If I get my soul back, I’ll have a human conscience and can be by your side,” I replied.

“It’s not that simple: everything you’ve done as a vampire, have you thought about how your soul will handle all that, all that...” she couldn’t finish the question.

“Evil, luv,” I said when it became apparent Willow wouldn’t. “If Angel can handle it, so can I,” I said half jokingly. Seeing Willow was about to object, I continued. “Willow, I have thought about it. What do you think I was doing earlier, counting stars?”

Willow got up and started pacing the room. “What,” I asked. “You don’t think you’d like the new, improved me? Have to admit, that is my only concern. Angel with his human soul?” I shuddered. Willow looked at me as if I were barking mad; apparently it hadn’t occurred to her that she might stop loving me. Good to know, I thought, giving myself a mental high-five.

“Angel wasn’t that bad with his soul, a bit obsessed with Buffy, perhaps, but since you’re already obsessive compulsive, it wouldn’t be that much of a change,” she joked. Distraction, distraction, distraction, why are we going for the distraction, Willow?

“Spit it out, luv.” Willow looked startled at my request and I continued, “What’s really bothering you?”

Willow started pacing the floor again, wringing her fingers together. I waited. Finally she burst out with, “When Angel had his human soul he loved Buffy.” Not seeing the relevance, I waited some more. “Without his human soul, he didn’t. What if you don’t love me? After.”

Not love Willow? She’s mad. It was her strongest argument yet though. There was no logical way to convince here I'd still love her after such a fundamental transformation. No way to prove to her what I knew was true. I’ll love you with my dying breath, er, with my last heartbeat, well no, try again. As I turn to dust, I’ll love you, no matter how many centuries, hopefully a lot, that takes. I crossed my fingers as I pulled out my last card. I stood up and said, “Not going to happen.”

“How can you be sure?” she asked.

“This is true love. Do you think this happens every day?”

Willow looked stunned. I stood there, waiting, barely able to hope but certainly unable to do anything else. An eternity passed, oceans dried to dust and became oceans again, and empires rose and fell while I waited. Willow walked up to me, smiled, took my hand, held it to her heart, and replied, “As you wish.”

---

Lady Marjorie and her nephew weren’t pleased with our plan to restore Spike’s human soul. I think Wesley had been hoping I’d be willing to kill Spike once I’d seen him again. Still, he was quite helpful. Lady Marjorie and I decided my spell should be as close to the original as possible and, with his connections to the Watcher’s Council, Wesley was able to get the research done in a surprisingly short amount of time. Unfortunately the research didn’t tell us much: all we knew was that we would bring Spike’s soul into an Orb of Thessela and, from there, transfer it into Spike.

“I don’t think I can do this,” I said.

Lady Marjorie beat Spike to the response. “You can, you do have the power to do this, Willow.”

“But I don’t know how to access magic outside of formal spells,” I replied.

“You've done it before, Red,” Spike supplied. “Remember those lashes on my thighs? If it’ll help, we can recreate that evening,” he said, seductively starting to unbutton his shirt.

“Spike, stop,” I started saying before I was interrupted.

“Yes Spike, please stop,” Wesley said, aiming a crossbow at Spike’s heart. “I apologize aunt, but this will never succeed, best to kill off the vampire now.” Without moving a muscle, I threw Wesley against the wall and held him there.

“I believe you’ll find you can perform that spell now,” he said.

Spike jumped to my side, “Willow, he’s right. You’re doing it.” I let Wesley go and he fell to the floor. I looked into the Orb of Thessela and words poured out of me, guttural words, words I didn’t know. I followed the words back to a silver cord that connected me to... me? It was me and it wasn't me. If I’d been purified, refined, transformed into an angel, that’s what I’d be. The orb blazed brightly now. As I touched one hand to the orb and the other to Spike, the brightness shot into him. Spike screamed and my world collapsed into darkness.

When I came to, Spike was calling my name. “Willow?”

“I’m here.” I looked into Spike’s eyes. Their usual confidence had given way to doubt. Terror. Madness.

“Don’t leave me, Willow,” he begged.

“Shhh. I won’t. I’m here. I’m right here.”

Shiva danced the universe into being, beyond death, and back into being again. That’s how long I waited there: universes came and went while Spike – while his human soul – screamed out its madness.

Lady Marjorie brought us food and blood. I choked down the food and forced Spike to drink. She hadn’t aged. She should have. Universe after universe after universe blinked in and out of existence but Lady Marjorie remained consistent.

My life became a pinpoint of time, never moving beyond that specific second. That nightmare second, full of screams, full of pain his eyes couldn’t contain. In that second, in that eternity, I held Spike. I held his screams. I held his pain. I held my love in my arms. Even as I passed out from exhaustion, I held him. I was his anchor, his rock, his way back. Please let him find his way back. Please come back to me, my love. All I could do was hold him while he cried out his madness.

The stillness struck me. Not knowing how long ago he’d stopped, I panicked. “Spike?”

“William,” he replied in a raw voice.

“What?” I asked.

“My human name is William.”

---

I looked into Willow’s eyes. I saw hope there but also fear. I kissed her. I kissed her again. Then I recited:

“Now, a new creature, I am born,
The old stripped away; -- I am new-made;
And mounting in me, like the sun at morn,
Love opens my heart, as a moon lily opens to shade
Thou, First and Only Fair, from me hath shorn
My will, my wits, and all that in me stayed,
I in my Beloved’s arms am laid,
I cry and call –
‘O Thou my All,
O let me die of Love!’”

“Die of love?” Willow asked, looking concerned.

“Poetic license,” I replied and leaned in for another kiss.

Comments

[kallie-kat.livejournal.com]

I've really enjoyed reading this. You've done a great job of plotting this out, and your character voices are very well done. Thanks so much! I hope to read more in the future.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! One more story in this series.

[kallie-kat.livejournal.com]

That's great news! I can't wait to read it.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

I don't know why he wants to be called William either. It just seemed right. I'm so glad you like that bit. *grins*