Fic: Andrew, the Greatest Ranger of Them All!

[dragonyphoenix]

Title: Andrew, the Greatest Ranger of Them All!
Fandom: BtVS
Characters/Pairing: Spike/Andrew/Lindsey
Rating: PG?
Concrit: Please, in comments
Disclaimer: They aren't mine, not yet, but the will be once I've taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha.
Summary: Andrew's dangerous, although not on purpose, with that Minbari Fighting Pike
Note: Written for a prompt at Open on Sunday: ranger
Note: So I was bored at work, trying to figure out what I could to with the prompt ranger, and my thoughts kept turning back to Andrew and B5 Rangers.  I'd read Ash Carpenter's Hands-On Experience a while back, and it sort of stayed in my head, so the two came together in this story, which is posted with Ash Carpenter's permission.

As Spike walked into the living room, not paying much attention to anything outside of his first sip of blood, he caught sight of the metal pole as it was swinging toward him, leaving barely enough time to raise his hands to block it, which meant he dropped his cup, drenching the front of his shirt and jeans in blood.

Andrew, finally turning enough to see what he’d hit, rushed over, letting go of the pole in his haste to get his hands all over Spike – to make sure he was all right of course. “Are you OK?”

“What the hell is this thing?” Spike asked, grabbing the pole before it fell to the floor.

“Ewwww,” Andrew said, pulling his bloody hands off of Spike.

Lindsey, after a quick duck back into the kitchen, tossed a towel over. Spike, grabbing it out of the air, was about to try and wipe some of the blood off, when he saw the look on Andrew’s face. With a sigh, he handed the towel over saying, “I’d still like to know what you hit me with.”

“It’s a Minbari Fighting Pike,” Andrew said. “I special ordered it, and thought it was never going to get here, given ho w long it took, which was seven weeks and three days, or maybe that was seven weeks and four days, and I was really excited, but it’s also sort of a disappointment because a real Minbari Fighting Pike, as you have to know, shrinks down real small only this one doesn’t, but I was thinking that maybe Willow could magic it for me, but who knows when I’ll get a chance to ask…”

“OK,” Spike shouted. “Sorry I asked.” When Andrew reached for the stick, no he’d called it a pike, Spike held it away. “Oh no, you don’t get to play with this until I’ve taught you how to use it.”

Andrew looked devastated. “But what if I hurt you?”

Spike glanced up at his wrist, which was still throbbing, and then down his front, where blood dripped onto the floor. “Can’t hurt me this much if we’re sparring.”

As Spike started walking to the back of the apartment, toward the bedrooms, Andrew trailed after. “Are you going to shower? ‘Cause I could wash your back and those hard to reach areas.”

“No. You stay.”

“But, but,” Andrew sputtered as he flopped down onto the couch.

With a smirk, Lindsey followed Spike into the bathroom. Spike was leaning over the sink, trying to wring blood out of his shirt. “Tell me again why I don’t just eat him,” Spike complained.

“You think he’s cute,” Lindsey replied.

From the living room, they could hear Andrew, “And so our brave Obi Wan left the civilization he had so valiantly spent his life trying to protect, heading to the outskirts of the galaxy, to a planet where he knew no one, alone, the last of the Jedi Knights…”

“Hey,” Spike shouted out. Into the silence he added, “OK, you can shower with us.”

As Andrew rushed into the bathroom, Lindsey added, “But only if you come up with a list of reasons how Spike’s cock is like a lightsaber.”

“Oh, oh,” Andrew squealed. “I’ve got that right here.” He pulled out a large assortment of folded papers and started rifling through them. “No, that’s why Spike is a greater hero than Superman. Hmmm and why Spike could kick Marcus’ ass. Oh, here it is.”
Spike, an amused smile on his lips, wandered over to check out the list.

“So,” Andrew started babbling, “the lightsaber is the most awesome of weapons.” He looked over at the Minbari Fighting Pike that Spike had leaned against the wall. “One of the most awesome weapons, and like a weapon…”

“My cock isn’t really a weapon,” Spike interrupted.

“But it’s as elegant as a lightsaber,” Andrew said.

“Fair enough,” Spike shrugged.

Lindsey started banging his head, hitting it against the wall behind him. “What the hell was I thinking, encouraging him?”

Comments

[samueljames]

Very fun fic. I really enjoyed it.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[edenskye.livejournal.com]

This is a cute story.

Andrew is so adorable.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Andrew is always adorable, although I think he's even cuter in Hands-On Experience.

[elebridith]

*gigglefit* Awesome! I think I have an OT3 now...

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

I think I have an OT3 now... Oooh, goody. You know, I was just recently wondering whom it was that had gotten me interested in Leverage, and here you turn up! Thanks.

[elebridith]

*beams*

[hello-spikey.livejournal.com]

hee! Oh dear, that kinda hurt!

You're evil. And funny. Evilly funny!

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

"Evilly funny," I like that. Thanks!

[mwrgana-muse.livejournal.com]

Oh, that is just adorable. I've had a Spike/Andrew story in mind for years but just can't get my brain to co-operate in developing it. Never mind, this will do for now!

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it, but now I want to read your story!