feeling overwhelmed by evil critters
Oct. 27th, 2012 10:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonyphoenixEverytime I feel hopeful lately, life slams me down.
I've been in a huge life transition working out what I want to do with the rest of my life, but Dad thinks I should be on some sort of straight and narrow track. He sent me some books, which I guess were supposed to force me to appear more focused. Instead what I got was that this is a huge decision and it could look like I'm not doing anything for years - which I already knew. I was very hopeful after reading them, figuring I could explain this in language Dad would get. He listened. He accepted what I said. And then two minutes later he's back to beating me on the head with words, roughly "Do what I want! Do what I want! Do what I want!"
I started with a new doctor recently and with therapy for my needle phobia. Going into my first visit with the doctor I was very hopeful, figuring that she'd be willing to put off bloodwork until it wasn't equivalent to torturing me to death in my head. Nope. She's quite insistent on torturing me to death, going so far as to say she'll hold my medication of I don't (let her torture me to death!). I can barely even call to make an appointment without taking valium first. Way to worsen my issues.
I now get why, when Pandora opened the box, there were thousands if not millions of evil critters and only one small hope-fairy.
I've been in a huge life transition working out what I want to do with the rest of my life, but Dad thinks I should be on some sort of straight and narrow track. He sent me some books, which I guess were supposed to force me to appear more focused. Instead what I got was that this is a huge decision and it could look like I'm not doing anything for years - which I already knew. I was very hopeful after reading them, figuring I could explain this in language Dad would get. He listened. He accepted what I said. And then two minutes later he's back to beating me on the head with words, roughly "Do what I want! Do what I want! Do what I want!"
I started with a new doctor recently and with therapy for my needle phobia. Going into my first visit with the doctor I was very hopeful, figuring that she'd be willing to put off bloodwork until it wasn't equivalent to torturing me to death in my head. Nope. She's quite insistent on torturing me to death, going so far as to say she'll hold my medication of I don't (let her torture me to death!). I can barely even call to make an appointment without taking valium first. Way to worsen my issues.
I now get why, when Pandora opened the box, there were thousands if not millions of evil critters and only one small hope-fairy.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-28 05:18 pm (UTC)This progressive relaxation and meditation stuff is helping with my road-rage but doesn't seem to be doing much for the depression, at least not since the doctor's assistant left me the evil "you must be tortured to death" voice-mail.
I'll be really glad when this phobia therapy really gets working!