Fic: All This and Heaven Too

[dragonyphoenix]

Title: All This and Heaven Too
Fandom: BtVS
Rating: G
Summary: After being pulled out of Heaven…
Character: Buffy
Concrit: Please, in Comments
Disclaimer: They aren’t mine, not yet, but they will be… once I’ve taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha!
Word Count: 100
Note: Based on a prompt from Open on Sunday


When she's alone she can feel it pressing down on her, the pure bliss of Heaven. It hurts. Even the memory of Heaven's ecstasy is too much for one human body to bear. When she's alone, and she prefers to be alone, she drowns in that almost pleasurable agonizingly painful intensity. She can't give it up. Without her memories of Heaven, she wouldn't feel alive.

She knows she's selfish, wishing she were dead, and so, unselfishly, she wishes for more. She tells herself she could endure the agony of Heaven's ecstasy if she could have all this and Heaven too.

Comments

[velvetwhip.livejournal.com]

Poor Buffy. It must have been agonizing for her.

Fine drabble!


Gabrielle

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Agonizing. Pretty much what I was going for. Thanks.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

*Hugs Buffy* Whenever I think I've got it rough and I can't handle things, I look at everything she went through and am awestruck - fictional character or no. I can't even imagine how painful that must have been, except this feels about right to me. TERRIBLY intense.

the really screwed-up thing? (well, one of many) Buffy died with a smile on her lips, like Bernini's St Theresa - agony and ecstasy combined; the peace that passeth understanding, that she'd saved Dawn, kept her promise to Joyce, and proved that she wasn't just a killer after all. And believing she was going to spend eternity in a hell dimension, tortured the way Angel had been. It was worth it her. THAT is heartbreaking.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Buffy died with a smile on her lips, like Bernini's St Theresa - agony and ecstasy combined. Oh, see, that is the most awesome interpretation! ;-)

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I rather like it myself. I think that's the work of art we see in Tara's art history book in Life Serial for a reason. It's no accident.

Joss may be an atheist but he knows his judeo-christian iconography. PG featured Buffy wearing black and white clothes, the virgin girl a "bride of christ" (nun) going down into the Master's lair, which is tricked out like a black mass. (then there's the whole "womb" imagery) Like a nun, who "buries" herself into the Church, a virgin.

In The Gift Buffy is Christ, but also St Theresa; and Dawn wears purple - in the Christian churches, the color of mourning, penance, suffering.

Sometimes I'm not sure if Joss is making a point, or just using the tools at hand, which we all respond to on some subconscious level.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's fascinating. I'm missing so much, but I am more of a subconscious type.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

I overthink Buffy waaaayyyyy to much. Clearly. I need to get a new hobby. Or a life.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

But it's so fascinating! ;-)

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Why thank you kindly, ma'am!