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I was talking with a friend and the subject turned to grief. She made a comment and suddenly I became a child who’s still shocked that Mommy is gone. I’m just now realizing that distraught child will always be a part of me. And I don't mean this to be sad. Yes, the feeling was but of course I should always miss my Mom, even if that feeling isn't always at the forefront of my consciousness.
Also, Dad’s left me a number of voice-mails. I should really call him back.
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Date: 2016-02-23 09:39 pm (UTC)I lost my father when I was three years old and most of the time I don't think about him (I barely knew him, right?) but he's always there, if that makes sense. He's a part of me (my mom described him to me and so much of his personality is my own) and sometimes there is just an ache for what I lack.
And that doesn't compare to having lived with and known a parent and then losing them.
I think in our society we feel like grief is something that should be "convenient", like a tv dinner, something to have done with. We're not really equipped for the idea that grief is something that lingers, that loss informs us, changes us AND IT'S OK. There is no shame in that.
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Date: 2016-02-24 01:30 pm (UTC)