not sure what to do
Nov. 29th, 2016 10:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonyphoenixSome of you will recall the stress I went through last Christmas when my aunt Alice, objecting to about 3 of more than 100 "Yay Christmas!" posts as a sign that I'm anti-Christian, sent a couple of rants my way and then unfriended me on Facebook. Well, on Sunday my sister asked, via Facebook message, if I'd talked to aunt Alice lately.
I'm guessing that Alice is complaining that I'm ignoring her? I'm not sure yet but will raise the question with Jackie. I'm not sure what I want to do in this situation. Alice has a pattern of lashing out at me when she's upset with pretty much anyone in the family. I'm sure her reassons for wanting to reach out and have a connection - one I don't recall us having since I was a teenager - are positive and Alice does have a lot of good qualities, but I know if we do connect that sooner or later she'll lash out at me again. However, Alice is living near my sister so I can't completely ignore her. If I want to visit my sister then I'll need to have some sort of relationship with Alice.
The only strategy I can see is to make it public whenever Alice is nasty to me. I could make sure Jackie knows about it. However, I know Jackie doesn't want to be in any mes between us so I'm not sure she'd let Alice know I brought the issue to her. Of course that would have to be in conjunction with pointing out to Alice how her comments had upset me. I've never tried that and have no idea how she'll react.
;-(
I'm guessing that Alice is complaining that I'm ignoring her? I'm not sure yet but will raise the question with Jackie. I'm not sure what I want to do in this situation. Alice has a pattern of lashing out at me when she's upset with pretty much anyone in the family. I'm sure her reassons for wanting to reach out and have a connection - one I don't recall us having since I was a teenager - are positive and Alice does have a lot of good qualities, but I know if we do connect that sooner or later she'll lash out at me again. However, Alice is living near my sister so I can't completely ignore her. If I want to visit my sister then I'll need to have some sort of relationship with Alice.
The only strategy I can see is to make it public whenever Alice is nasty to me. I could make sure Jackie knows about it. However, I know Jackie doesn't want to be in any mes between us so I'm not sure she'd let Alice know I brought the issue to her. Of course that would have to be in conjunction with pointing out to Alice how her comments had upset me. I've never tried that and have no idea how she'll react.
;-(
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Date: 2016-11-30 01:02 pm (UTC)I hope your sister comes around somehow.
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Date: 2016-11-30 02:26 pm (UTC)Jackie doesn't want to be caught in the middle. Although she might be trying to fix things between us. I'm guesstimating that Aunt Alice was complaining that she and I don't talk and this was Jackie's way of passing that along, by asking if I've talked to Alice lately.
This was my response. Note I left out the bit where I'd thought Jackie and Alice talked to each other, and not me, because they are more alike and get along better. I was going to add that as maybe I'm wrong because my mind's been in a bad headspace but chose not to because I don't want to alienate anyone:
Aunt Alice and I haven't talked in a long while. That may have been my fault. I had anemia that had built up, um, over decades probably. I was pretty ill and had really withdrawn into myself. As my friends moved away, I didn't make new ones and I also drifted from other friends. I'm just building up new friendships now. That was all an example of how much I've been isolating myself because I was ill.
Did she comment that we don't talk in a she wants to way or are you noticing it and wondering?