It is okay to be satisfied/pleased with yourself and with your own marked progress and growth as a person. That isn't necessarily the same as smugness or grandiosity. Having a sense of accomplishment, even with inside-the-head stuff, is useful because it is both motivating and restful. Being aware that you have drawn a line and now adhere to a certain standard that may have been difficult to reach is worth a bit of celebration, although it needn't be expressed in comparison to others. Basically, it's okay to feel good about something about yourself even if other things are not-good.
On a slightly different but related note...
I give myself brownie points for Not Saying The Bad Things - or the perfectly reasonable things, but too loud, too fast, too many in a row, and requiring too much work from my interlocutor. As in I have an actual mental score card for each day, and will add to it or even ask someone close to me "Can I have a brownie point?" for when I manage to do good things or just overcome my tendency to fly off the handle. Which can sometimes edge into, "I wanna say but I'm not gonna say..." territory, so I am trying to be increasingly cautious with it.
Also, I washed some dishes tonight, and dang it, I am proud of that.
Finally, I am very pleased that you are gaining something from this conversation! I find your posts and comments to be fascinating.
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Date: 2016-06-22 04:07 am (UTC)It is okay to be satisfied/pleased with yourself and with your own marked progress and growth as a person. That isn't necessarily the same as smugness or grandiosity. Having a sense of accomplishment, even with inside-the-head stuff, is useful because it is both motivating and restful. Being aware that you have drawn a line and now adhere to a certain standard that may have been difficult to reach is worth a bit of celebration, although it needn't be expressed in comparison to others. Basically, it's okay to feel good about something about yourself even if other things are not-good.
On a slightly different but related note...
I give myself brownie points for Not Saying The Bad Things - or the perfectly reasonable things, but too loud, too fast, too many in a row, and requiring too much work from my interlocutor. As in I have an actual mental score card for each day, and will add to it or even ask someone close to me "Can I have a brownie point?" for when I manage to do good things or just overcome my tendency to fly off the handle. Which can sometimes edge into, "I wanna say but I'm not gonna say..." territory, so I am trying to be increasingly cautious with it.
Also, I washed some dishes tonight, and dang it, I am proud of that.
Finally, I am very pleased that you are gaining something from this conversation! I find your posts and comments to be fascinating.