I'm Eeyore

[dragonyphoenix]

I have been getting more and more depressed. At first it was only workdays, but then it started extending into the weekends. Today I burst into tears. It was just for a few minutes but it was over pretty much nothing. I'd been feeling like crying all morning and it finally burst out of me.

My friend Anne agreed with me that it might be hormonal (perimenopause), but also said this: "You are depressed a lot, so I wonder if you've ever talked to someone about chronic clinical depression? I have friends and family members who have been greatly helped by very mild and temporary medication--sometimes your brain chemistry just needs to be kicked back in the right direction."

I don't know. I don't want to take something with a bunch of side effects, but I am getting more and more miserable over time. ;-(

Comments

[silk-labyrinth.livejournal.com]

Any chance at all that you could change jobs? I know that's a HUGE thing to suggest, but the job situation sounds like the wellspring of your original low feelings. I was in a job that became unbearable, and my emotions (and therefore life in general) became so much better when I finally made a change.

Sidenote #1: I know you're perimenopausal, but if you're using birth control pills, keep in mind that St. John's wort can make them less effective.

Sidenote #2: Researchers have found that our tears contain stress hormones and that crying when we're stressed helps get those excess (and unhelpful) hormones out of the body.

Wishing you well as you work through your options. Very best of luck!

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

I would LOVE to change jobs. Actually I want to take a year's sabattical and take writing classes. I'm thinking next September. If I get the courage to do it since it's a sucky time to end up unemployed.

I'm not on birth control, but I'd have to check if any herbs messed with my blood pressure meds first. Hmmm, and that bit about the tears explains why I felt better after crying yesterday. I was really wondering what it had been that had cheered me up!

Thanks.

[silk-labyrinth.livejournal.com]

I'll cross my fingers for the sabbatical possibility. I was happy to read that you're considering something like that! Best of luck.
ETA: Just saw that you're considering therapy. Thumbs up for that -- it's been a big help to me.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Sadly I don't think I'll get a chance with the sabbatical, much as I'd love to. I have the savings for it but being unable to find a new job afterwards would make me lose the house and kill my credit. And, more importantly, the mortgage company could take from me the difference between what was owed on the house and what it sold for. *grrrrr*

Definitely going forward with the therapy though. Have to post a follow up so all the really nice people who've been commenting and being so supportive know what's going on.