not sure how else to handle it

[dragonyphoenix]

So I’ve been thinking over this situation with my Aunt Alice and reviewing other times she’s wigged out. She just has no problems lashing out at me. But, she lives in the same town as my sister Jackie and so if I want to see my sister, not to mention my niece and nephew, I should be on at least polite-conversation terms with Alice.

I have had issues with Dad and therefore know that if you point out his behavior he will think about it and try to correct it. Nothing I’ve ever seen from Aunt Alice suggests she’ll do the same.

Also, it’s important to me that Dad and I at least try to have a good relationship. Alice and I have done little more than exchange Christmas presents for decades now. I don’t have a problem having a distant relationship with her.

Aunt Alice can be incredibly thoughtful with gifts. One year she gave me a book that had belonged to my great-grandmother. But she also does one thing my mother did: be very generous and then verbally abusive.

I can’t avoid Alice completely since I want to have a relationship with Jackie and her kids. Since Jackie and Alice are close, and I think Jackie gets along with Alice better than with me, I don’t feel as if I can confide in Jackie (about Alice) because I can’t count on her taking my side. About all I feel I can do is reduce my Facebook presence so I take away an avenue of attack.

Comments

[velvetwhip.livejournal.com]

The minefield of family. I know what navigating it is like and you have my very sincere sympathy and support. It's hard trying to keep the peace and balance all the relationships you have. I'm sorry you're having to go through all this. It sucks and it shouldn't be this way.


Gabrielle

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I just wish is was clearer, what I should do I mean. *sigh*

[snogged.livejournal.com]

Family relationships can be difficult to navigate.

I understand wanting to continue your positive relationships and I hope your approach of being civil to Aunt Alice works out okay.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

It would have been nice. Visits to Jackie (my sister whom my aunt lives near) may end up being super awkward.

[snogged.livejournal.com]

Well, at least your aunt doesn't live with Jackie. That means there's a good chance you won't have to see her during those visits, despite their proximity.

Or is that wishful thinking?

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure. I don't know how much time Alice spends with them. I'll have to sound out Jackie about visiting without seeing Alice.

They each have family members they don't speak with. It's possible they may disown each other and then I won't have a problem. I'm mostly joking with that. They seem to get along with each other.