but ...

[dragonyphoenix]

“I don't want to be mean, but …”

Stop right there. You’re about to be mean. If you want to say whatever’s coming after the word “but” then lose “I don’t want to be mean.” You’re being mean. Own it.

If you really don’t want to be mean, then “I don’t want to be mean so I’ll stop now.”

Comments

[baronjanus]

You do not need poison in your life unless there's very, very good reasons to tolerate it. That is all.


(patterns: I have one sister who explodes at everything, and one who avoids so bad I just recently realised she's actually terrified to any kind of emotion, her own or other people's. I'm closer to the explosive one, attitude-wise, because I do prefer things out in the open rather than silent festering, but finding a golden path in between isn't easy)

[dragonyphoenix]

You do not need poison in your life unless there's very, very good reasons to tolerate it. That is all. Thank you. I feel as if I'm supposed to want my aunt in my life but verbal abuse out of the blue? So not something I need in my life.

I'm more of an avoider, but not for any conscious reason. It's just the pattern I fall most easily into. There's a good reason my closest relative is 5 1/2 hours away!

[baronjanus]

Heh, yeah, I moved to another continent but family is good at keeping the drama alive by phone and other tech ;)

[dragonyphoenix]

Ah well.